Still trying to nab a Galaxy Patrol, I think that one’s going to be just chance.

It was only a couple of weeks ago when I was at the store buying Lego series 6 minifigs for Easter baskets…ok ok and for myself too. So you can imagine my shock when my wife and were out this weekend and found nothing but empty series 6 displays. Pretty upsetting since I never did land a Minotaur (but one of our sons has one). We hit two different Targets, Barnes & Noble and almost Wal-Mart too. She suggested making a last ditch attempt at Toys R Us and I scoffed at her. For one, every time we’ve gone before they didn’t have any, even when all the other stores had plentiful stock. For two, their prices are always higher. We went anyway and they did have about a handful of series 6 packs left…but they also had SIX BOXES of series 7 on the shelf!

We grabbed a handful and started feeling for what was what. Most of our hunches were right but there are a couple of mysteries we haven’t solved yet. Here’s what we’ve got so far.

First off if you’re new to the Lego minifigs these are the pieces to ignore:

Every pack has a paper checkoff sheet (not pictured), a thin brick stand and a head. The stand and paper just get in the way of your feeling around. The head is easy to find since its small, round and will slip out of your fingers if you squeeze it too hard. Speaking of the head I’ll start with what I thought was the easiest minifig to identify.

Officially named the “Computer Programmer” but we affectionately call him the nerd. His package will be flat (har har) since all of his accessories are pretty small (double har har). The laptop is easiest to find, being small (under an inch across), rectangular and completely flat. To verify you’ve got a programmer look for the C:\ coffee mug. It will almost feel like another head in the pack, but also have that tell-tale handle. Next easiest for us to ID was the bagpiper.

To me the bagpipes felt like a frying pan with the handle bent upward 90 degrees. If you put your thumb in the hollow underside of the bagpipes the handle should be pointing back up toward your thumb. You can also feel the 3 other extensions on the bagpipes but to me those weren’t as predominant as the bent handle. You should also be able to feel the hat, but its hard to differentiate from the swimmer’s cap. The kilt is flat fabric/plastic that you fold onto the top of the legs to form, so you won’t be able to ID it in the pack.

The Evil Knight’s shield is pretty large, and the teardrop shape is easy to identify but I found it hard to locate in the pack. The sword is just a stick inside the pack, and I personally don’t like to base an ID on just a stick. I’ve bought too many accidental doubles basing my hunches on just a stick.

The Hippie hair is pretty big as well, it will feel like an elongated helmet but with that long channel in the front where his face is. Also feel for the flowers. They come unassembled (with a 4th flower you won’t need for anything) so feel for the tripod that forms the stems. If you’re looking for a Bride minifig feel for that same tripod stem, but also the large angular block that makes the bottom of her dress.

The Tennis Ace only has his racket and hair for accessories. The racket is pretty unique but small so finding it can be tough. The hair is only slightly spiky so feeling it through the thick plastic packaging could be tough.

The Swimming Champ is a pain in the ass. First the swimming cap is a very small and unremarkable head piece, so it can feel almost like any other dome-shaped hat. The only other accessory is the medal around her neck, which as you can see is a small, stiff 90 degree angle piece. We bought 2 Swimmers completely by accident, didn’t even find that medal in the pack when we were feeling. The only saving grace to this piece is the head has two faces, one with goggles on and one with a huge medal-accepting smile.

This is all we’ve bought so far, as we get more I’ll update this post. To speculate on the rest of the series, I’ll be looking for these parts for ID:

Aztec Warrior – large headpiece with crest along the top. its HUGE.

Bride – tripod flower stem and angular skirt block

Bunny Suit Guy - helmet with rabbit ears, carrot is two separate hard plastic pieces

Daredevil – lack of accessories, since the cape is flat fabric/plastic

Galaxy Patrol – not sure on this one, I’m always bad at space figs

Grandma Visitor - flexible basket with raised handles

Jungle Boy – rubber knives (come joined together, feel like nunchucks), also the feel for the monkey with his raised arm. the monkey is pretty small though.

Ocean King – probably the trident

Rocker Girl – guitar

Viking Girl – angular skirt block, double-spike helmet, circular shield with center spike

In feeling around another pack I felt what I can only describe as nunchucks. They felt U shaped but rubbery and flexible. I’m not sure what that was, maybe the two halves of the Bunny Suit’s carrot? That may be the next one I buy just out of curiosity. UPDATE – They’re the Jungle Boy’s knives! He has two rubber knives that come connected by a small piece you discard. The Bunny Suit carrot is two completely separate hard plastic pieces.

Here’s a couple more pics I took.

Yes, the laptop actually opens! But after opening and closing it only twice the gray plastic has already turned white from fatigue, so I’m worried this might break easily.

For no particular reason, my cat looking like a totem pole. I found her on the floor like this…oh well.

PvP should not be forced on a PvE server – I love that I can alter my character’s appearance, via my choice in gear, without the negatives of the gear I like being not as powerful as gear I don’t like. This is thanks to the item modification system. But there are still pieces of equipment that can only be purchased with credits earned in PvP…on a PvE server.

I play on a PvE server, just for the fact that my available gaming time is sporadic and I really don’t want to deal with possible PvP grief when I may have only an hour or two to play (many moons ago I played Ultima Online before the Trammel expansions where getting PvP killed was a regular occurrence you had to deal with). I know the value of PvP, the best example I can think of comes from my arcade days. Playing Mortal Kombat versus the computer is completely different from playing against someone else. Your play style changes based on what works and what doesn’t. But those differences, and PvP itself, can be stressful and many avoid it for those reasons. Hence the SWTOR server list is separated into PvP and PvE.

Equipment should not be limited to only PvP credits on a PvE server! What makes this worse is PvP gear (like the Battlemaster set) not only looks awesome, but gives combat benefits based on how many pieces of the set you wear. A benefit that no other equipment available through PvE means has.

Crafters should be able to make everything - After you hit 50 you “grind the dailies”, ie, hit the missions that are playable every 24 hours to get your daily commendation tokens. The same missions…everyday…forever. The purpose, of course, is to buy those purple 23 mods that are not available by any other means. This is bullshit, and a slap in the face of crafters. Even if you work a skill all the way to 400, and then reverse engineer your craftables all the way up to purple (which can take literally weeks), they’re still only 22′s and not as good as what you can get only with daily commendation tokens.

I’m not saying it should be easy, I know if it were easy the Global Market would be flooded, but it should be possible as opposed to completely impossible as it is now.

Fix/Simplify Travel - Why can’t I ride my speeder through some Rakata cave in a mission, but I can speeder all around the populated indoors Imperial Fleet station? The places you can and cannot ride a speeder don’t make any sense to me at all. Also what’s the point of making me take my spaceship to a planet orbital station, then running (again can’t use speeder) to an airlock, then running (no speeder again) to a shuttle to take down to the planet and then running through a base to a taxi? I could see this being the setup on one, maybe two “remote planets” if the story supported a lack of massive spaceport on the planet, but this is how almost ALL the planets are.

Too many junk items - From level 1 to 50 my inventory has been filled with hundreds of junk, completely unusable items, that I’ve looted off NPC monsters to then sell for credits. And every single one of them has their own unique inventory icon and description. Is this really necessary? How long did it take for someone to render all that literal garbage? Put all these junk sellables on top of the dozens of crystals and crafting resource items I need to keep track of and its a mess. Slim the junk.

As I said I’ve been enjoying the game. It has alot of potential and I like the timeline, way more than the other available Star Wars franchise timeline (Clone Wars cartoons). I’ll stick with it but I think alot needs to be changed, not only for enjoyment but for fairness to the player community.

There’s two main reasons for this. One, we’re the parents of three young boys and really can’t take an extended weekend getaway on a holiday weekend. There’s baskets and eggs and traditional things and such that need to be tended to. Two, costs. Between airfare, hotel, food, passes, souveniers/merch and everything else that comes along with an out-of-town trip each year has cost us just shy of two thousand dollars. For a family of 5 that’s no small budgetary item. The fact that the trip would be on a prime holiday travel weekend,  costs are significantly higher. I’ve looked at flights and they’re more than double what we paid last year, 2.5 times higher to be exact. And that’s if I book right now, during the Christmas season when of course families have all sorts of extra money floating around for their 2012 planning. No way can I justify that for what is essentially a personal indulgence.

I know that I can eliminate the first problem by possibly making the trip a whole family event, but that just exasperates the second problem to impossible levels.

Its just a horrible weekend to plan for. Again, I don’t pretend to fathom what goes into deciding the date for a 60,000+ attendee gaming convention, and I can’t imagine I’m in the core target demographic either (mid 30′s-year-old married father gamer…though this does ironically describe Mike and Jerry, aka, Gabe and Tycho), but Easter weekend PAX means no PAX.

To my fellow Enforcers, especially my BYOC brothers, sorry I won’t be seeing you. Have fun and don’t forget to take a break and eat (I’m looking at you BigRed).

Josh - Lets get this going!

Jeremy - I think if anything this year should teach us that all the planning in the world cannot compete with a lack in execution.

Chris - That is the smartest thing anyone has ever said about anything.

That being said, here are my suggestions for next year:

1. Camp Jungle Love (Previously discussed idea) - Pros: Incorporates the monkeys perfectly. Being set in a forest does most of the setting work for us. Cons: Obvious racial implications that would not be welcome at the Heron (much like insulting people as they walk by the camp). Not many costume ideas.

2. Pirates of the Carib-Heron (or Pirates of the Heron-bean) Pros: Really cool pirate costumes. Tons of good jokes. Lots of saying "Arrr!". Memorable. Rum built right in! Cons: Assumptions that we’re on the Pirates movie bandwagon or affiliated with them somehow. "Butt pirates" jokes and other homoerotic implications.

3. City of Herons (Superheroes!) Pros: Excellent potential for costumes. (Even the most slack-ass can throw something together in a couple hours.) Can induct others into the camp by fashioning costumes from items around the Heron. Memorable. Cons: The whole “tights” thing. Novelty may wear off quickly.

I’m still only about 15% convinced that anything will happen next year, but it remains to be seen. For me, I’m just going to focus on Musefest and then…Halloween? There should be a site or something that lists music festivals and shows around here.

Oirole - aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! i got me eye patch ready!!!  :thumb:

Jeremy - My personal opinion, its a real close tie between pirates and monkeys for me.  Superheroes has very gay implications, and I can’t picture any of us being very “heroic” during the heron. I just would like to have some kinda game we could play all weekend long.  For example, from the pictures posted so far I see there were alot of…um…hygenically impaired peoples at the Heron this year.  What if we bought car air fresheners, like those tree ones or leaves or whatever is the cheapest from the dollar store, and put longer strings around them.  And we have a contest all weekend long to see who can get the most around the necks of the unclean.  Bonus points for filth factor, creativity/style, and proper match of air freshener scent to target.

Chris - A pirate walks into a bar and orders rum. While the bartender is pouring it for him, he can’t help but notice that the pirate has the distinct shape of a steering wheel in his pants! The bartender keeps looking at it with his peripherals but can’t figure out what the deal is. So finally, as the pirate is walking out, the bartender asks him, “Hey, I just gotta ask…what’s with the steering wheel” The pirate looks at him and says, “Arrrr! I don’t know, but it’s drivin’ me nuts!”

Josh - i have the entire week after the herron off already lol…cummins is giving us a week off in july and well its right after the herron…the gods love me. also as a side note i am going to buffalo the 10th to take a civil service exam to be a postal carrier

Drew - “Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds…. But I ain’t promising nothing if there’s a kegger on happening on my round”

Jeremy - LMAO

Josh - preach on! :thumb:

Chris - ’I'm sticking with the beer knight thing. People love it and they’ll come to expect it. I’d rather be recognized and consistent and hear people saying, “I wonder if the beer knights will be here this year?” than “I wonder if those guys with the stuff will be here this year?”

Jeremy - People say that every year, but they’re usually not talking about anything that you wear.

Chris - That’s true. And usually that person is Jay. Jeremy, it sounds like you’re in with the Corona armor next year. Josh, you gonna be able to swing Heinie armor in a year? I’m getting stickers made up that look a little something like this: ((image that no longer exists)) People don’t remember when you just say “Hey, check out The Beer Knight.com”…but with a STICKER! No way to forget. This thing is taking off boys…jump on before the rocket’s out of reach! By the way, if anybody wants a beer stein to go with their armor, just go to Ebay and type “knight beer stein” in the search box. I was amazed how many came up! And if there were a bunch at a random friggin’ time like when I checked, there’s apparently an almost continuous flow of knightly beer steins that nobody knows about going on all the time! Insane.

Josh - i have construced blue prints and i will have armor….i am building it out of football shoulder pads

Jeremy - Honestly, I dont drink Corona much at all, it was Jay who was all over that set. I’m sticking to Molson Canadian. I’ve got a bunch of twin-labels I’ve been saving, and the hockey theme of the beer will meld with the samurai armor to create my weapon of choice, the goalie stick katana.

Josh - awesome!

Chris - Beautiful! I’m lovin’ it. I want pictures as soon as possible to swell the ranks of the Knights! Why did I think you were going to make Corona armor?

Josh - lol….i think we all wonder what you are thinking at times

Chris - While I have many a crazy thought, I’ve escaped catastrophe thus far and for this I am truly grateful. No major accidents, never caught on fire, I still have my anal flower, no kids or divorces, I’m not Travis Harvey, and I’ve never gone to jail. How I’ve avoided all this, I have no idea, but whatever. So our roster will look something like this:

Chris – The Blue Knight

Patrick – The Guinness Knight

Jeremy – Master Molson? Molson-san? Hockey Knight? Knight of the North?

Josh – Um…Heineken? Is that what you’re using? Sir Heinie? Lord Heineken? The Green Knight? Knight of the Red Star?

Apparently we have some followers outside that are planning on making armor that have contacted me by email but we’ll see what happens.

Josh - Heiniken is correct sir….as for the name we will let the public decide that

Chris - ’I think Knight of the Red Star would be a great name. <br /><br />Patrick is all trying to change his name now to The Black Knight. MAKE UP YOUR MIND, BUTTMUNCH! First it was Black &amp; Tan Knight, then The Guinness Knight, now The Black Knight. Pick and stick, dude.

Josh - *giggles* You said Pick and Stick! <br /><br />That sounds like a good name though!

Jeremy - Molsonitsu, the ancient beer warrior

Chris - This is going to be a great Order! I’m so excited I have to go poop!

Josh - AHhhhh…..yes Chris Knight of teh Royal Porcelin

Jeremy - In constructing landing gears for the Air Hogs remote control planes me and the boys have, I found something that will help me greatly. At the hobby shop they have various thicknesses of what they call piano wire, but its really just wire. Thinner than a pencil lead all the way up to stuff like rods. I got some 3mm, 40 cents per 3 foot piece, and I’m going to use it to reinforce the shape of my helm and shoulder pieces. The solution to the problem of forming my samurai helm has been found.

Chris - This winter is going to be epic. I foresee much freetime spent constructing newer, better versions of armor. Next festival season will see some much improved knights. Of course, having more than two will be nice, too.

Jeremy - Teehee, started making my gauntlets today. Other parts are on order. So far there are batteries, a soldering iron, liquid nails glue, bottle caps, and a chinchilia involved. Ok maybe not the furry animal, but only because it wasn’t cost-effective.

Josh - Tickets go on sale March 1st!!!

Jeremy - So…..where the hell is Mr. Beer Knight himself??????

Josh - I just spoke to him the other day…he is a live lol…..i am collecting my empty boxes for the armor

Enjoy.

Chris - After Blue Heron Festival 2005, I went over to Jay’s apartment and me, him, Jer, and Josh reminisced (or tried to put together the nights from occasional moments of clarity). Immediately we started thinking about what to do for Blue Heron 2006. Although at the time I didn’t think I’d be able to make it because of my job in Korea, I suggested making suits of armor out of beer cases. It was something I had seen on a certain “post-highschool comedy” website where people sent in pictures and thought it was a great idea. Frankly speaking, most of the pics sent in looked pretty crappy…whole beer cases,still rectangular, taped together and poorly cut. Many of the “beer knights” looked more like “beer robots” or “beer transformers”. There were decent ones, but the majority were garbage. I knew that Jay, Josh, and Jer would do better for BH06. Then I somehow managed to weedle my way into getting home around the 4th of July, so I’m in too.

For the next two months, we will all be working on creating armor out of non-corrugated cardboard. Since I don’t have access to beer cases here, I’m cutting patterns out of plain cardboard so I can make the suit quicker when I get home. My plan is to make it out of Labatt’s Blue cases with some Coors silver for trim. Jer is working on making Molson Canadian samurai armor with pull-tab chainmail. Jay is working with XXX cases but has otherwise been close-mouthed. Josh is keeping his a total secret thus far. Our friend, Oirole, who we met last year is also going to be joining us and is planning on making his suit out of Guiness cases.

This thread will be for us to post pictures of our creative process, give support to others, make suggestions, learn from our errors, and inspire future generations of cardboardsmiths.

Chris - I spent about 4 hours tonight making my armor. It took a lot of Coke and a lot of King of Queens, but I got a decent amount done. My first idea for the breastplate looked something like this:

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You can see my armor sketch that I based this on to the left there. I experimented with this design a little bit. At first I thought it was too big and then after I cut it the shape looked funny. The thing just reminded me of the Batman body armor with the nipples…and nobody wants that. So I decided to ditch the idea of the “breast”plate and go with another design. This one is much simpler, but I think it will look better in the long run.

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It’s a single piece that I’ll close with elastic at the back and then cover the closings with a cardboard flap. The elastic will allow me to get it on and off and also give a little when I’m moving around. I probably won’t dance too much, but it’ll do for moving normally. I’m going to have to reinforce the edges of the cardboard for the elastic, so I’ll use duct tape along the trim and then punch holes and thread the elastic through them. Then I’ll add a drawstring to pull it tight (like a backpack). Then I’ll cover the closings with a flap so it doesn’t look like I’m wearing a cardboard girdle. It’s kind of hard to picture, but I’ll show you when I finish it. I cut the head hole and it ended up like this:

((lost image))

Now that the big piece was roughly done, it was time to work on the littler stuff. First, the pauldron (shoulder guard). This is a tough piece to make because it needs to be curvy, which involves arcs and triangles and all kinds of other things. I made one, but I’m not too happy about it. It looks kind of funny all by itself, so I’m thinking I might add another flaring guard over the top or something…whatever. For now, it looks like this:

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Next I decided to do the armguard. I think the armguard is a very important part of the suit. It looks cool, is easy to make, and looks much better than bare forearms. I started with a really long armguard, but quickly decided to shorten it up. When I tried it out, I thought about what kind of movements I’d be making most…those being drinking motions. It is very important when making the armguard to ensure full range of motion for your drinking hand so that the top of the guard isn’t rubbing against your bicep. With the design I came up with, there’s a curve to keep contact with the bicep minimal. It also has a flap at the lower portion to cover the back of the hand. This will be hinged so I can move my hand up and down, back and forth without needing to bend the armguard.

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Next was a shinguard. When I started, I cut one that I thought would be way too big so I could trim it down, but lo and behold…it was just about perfect! It only covers the front of the shin and the calf is completely exposed, but having too much cardboard covering would result in chafing and slicing of the delicate “behind-the-knee” area. Making the shinguard was quick and easy, so I went on to the helmet. I thought about the helmet a lot. It’s a very hard piece to make! The most difficult portion is the dome at the top. So I started to think…do I really need a dome at the top? If we wear these during the day, it’ll be pretty warm to have the top on. Plus, it’s a real bitch to make, right? Could I make it look good without having a top? I think I could…and I think I did! I submit to you, my open helm.

((lost image))

I think it works quite nicely! (Minus my ridiculously tired appearance…I blame the kindergarten kids for sucking the life out of me.) Kind of a light and airy design, so far as armor goes. Maybe a bit Trojan or Greek…or elven. So here’s the whole suit as it stands right now:

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I also cut the neckline of the breastplate a bit more, but I don’t know if I screwed it up or not…it may be too big and I might have to adjust it after I can put the whole thing together with closings. Here’s what my living room looks like at the moment. Thank God Vicky’s gone for the weekend!

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What do you think so far?

Jeremy - Ah the things boys will do when Mom’s not around….. Um, do you plan on covering your ass with anything?

Chris - Does Arizona put a tarp over the Grand Canyon? NO! Why would I cover my best feature and hide it from the world? Yeah, I ran out of cardboard. I’ll make the rest of it later when I have the time and supplies. It’ll all come together.

Jeremy - Dammit!!!  This Heron is supposed to be pooper-free!!! NO POOPER ZONE!! Advertising your pooper as such will clearly violate Camp Trogdor code of ethics.

Jeremy - For those unaware, here in Western NY there’s a yearly music festival called the Blue Heron.  Its held basically in the middle of nowhere and its a weekend of camping, music, hippies, vendors, and fun.  (Though the last time I personally went I think I saw more punks on cell phones walking through the woods than tie-dye…).  Plans for 2006 began as soon as the 2005 festival ended.  The theme for the camp site evolved from Camp Duct Tape (with everything from tents to clothes either covered or crafted from duct tape) into the Legion of Beer Knights.  Each legionaire will sport a suit of armor crafted from beer cases of a different brand.

As far as I know, Jay has dibs on Molson XXX.  I’m trying to grab Molson Canadian.  Not sure what Josh and Static are going for.  I may try to make samurai armor, but its fucking complicated.  But while on that topic, my commitment to going is NOT 100% at present.  Until things with schedules and my boys are worked out I have to say I’m not going.  Even if schedules work out funds will probably limit mine and K’s time to just one night.  I know you guys have plans to kidnap me, but the boys come first and I have to have my ducklings in a row before I consider anything else.  But even if I don’t go I’m going to assist as armorsmith.  The Wegmans near our place has a great bottle return thats all clean and new, so all the snobs use it.  After Memorial Day weekend I’m going to pounce on it for clean beer cardboard.  Also I’ve already started saving can pull-tabs and bottle caps for fashioning chainmail and bit pieces to fill in gaps.  AND, I found a pattern for the helmet, that includes a traceable guide.  Its a pattern for kids so we may need to trace a little outside of the edges to make it bigger.  I’m thinking of making the face opening a little bigger/lower for drinking/eating, making the faceplate bigger so it can swing completely up, and adding tabs or brackets to the side and bottom so the oversized faceplate doesn’t swing past and down to the neck.

I heard a rumor that Static is going to make a dragon and hang it from a branch above the campsite??  I already found a 6 foot tall inflatable monkey for Jay, to go along with his standard 2 foot tall one like he had last year.

Chris - The Ultimate Heron Camping List…((*Chris goes on to post the biggest camping list of food, toiletries, toys and supplies the likes of which I have never seen. For the sake of the blog post here I’ve omitted it. If anyone really wants to see it leave a comment here and I can e-mail it to you))

Chris - Here is the Camp Trogdor Crest that I will hang from a tree over the camp. Anybody know where we can get some red LEDs for the eyes? The paper to the right is a normal 8.5″x11″ piece for size reference.

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These are my swords for my beer knight outfit. The green one lights up (I’m taking out the lame “clang clang” soundmaker) and the bigger one is inflatable.

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A bunch of funny Konglish stuff from Korea for the Heron.

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Guestbooks

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10 color pen and stickers

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Sticker and notepad

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For those of you who don’t know Trogdor (which I can’t believe there are many), he comes from Strongbad’s Email on homestarrunner.com. Here are some renderings of Trogdor if you wish to add him to your armor or make any additional Trogdor related items for the camp.

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Jeremy - Link to LED throwies, putting it here so I dont forget about them. I know there’s not alot of metal in the woods for these to stick to, but maybe we can adapt them onto some stick ball or something instead. I’m investigating. If not in the very least we can do the red LED’s for the Trogdor sign.

Chris - For those of us making armor, here’s a sight with ideas and patterns. The patterns are supposed to be made of metal, but cardboard works just as well. http://www.armourarchive.org/patterns/

Josh - Chris a message from Patrick…(you remeber the guy with the wood!)

hey i didnt realize that i had to get a ticket by tuesday, ill let you know if im comming by then. so how do ya construct a suit of armor from beer cans? are you serious about this, i dont know, i guess i could bring firewood, but not a ton. im not paying to park my freaking trailer again

Chris - Josh’s message made me realize that people might be a bit confused about what I mean by “beer knights” and “beer case armor”. It is NOT armor made out of beer cans! Although this could be cool, it’s a lot more work, a lot less comfortable, and a lot harder to wear. What I envision us wearing is something like these:

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Or even something like this…

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Jeremy - I still say the guy in the Coke armor looks like a Transformer. As of now I’m officially out of the Heron.  I plotted out my work schedule and that week I have to work Wed, Thr, and Fri nights (from 6pm to 7am the next day).  So I’ll be working Friday night to Saturday morning.  Someone else already requested Friday off and got it so there’s no chance of me getting it. I’m still going to assist with what I can with the armor.  I called Jason today with my newest idea.  My friend Ryan is brewing his own beer, yesterday we took a trip to the his brew supply store.  A beer bottle capper is $12, and new caps are $4 for 144.  Ryan already has a capper he’ll let me use.  I’m gonna find cheap bulk washers from Home Depot about the size of a bottle opening, and cap caps to fabric.  Great to use for leggings, elbow, joints, or just make a set of chaps to strap over regular pants.  They had different caps, plain gold, black ones that said “hooch” on them, and gold with white stars.  I’m going to search for other designs or cheaper/bulk prices. *edit – online has other colors, but shipping is $6-$11.  Figured it will take about 200-230 caps to completely cover the front and sides of one pant leg.

Chris - So, what teh fuck?  You can’t come be sociable on Saturday?  Saturday is the BIG NIGHT!!! Get off work, get your snoozies in and then come to the woods!  Friday night is kinda iffy anyway cuz everybody who had to work 9-5 is just getting there.  Saturday is perfecto since everyone’s settled in, the booze is flowing, we’ll have already made friends and Camp Trogdor will be all set up.  As an added bonus, your Circadian Rhythms will already be in tune with staying up all night on Saturday to get the most bang for your buck. Yes, my friend…the job closed a door…but when has a lock ever stopped you?

So should we do some cool shit with our fire this year? http://chemistry.about.com/cs/howtos/a/aa052703a.htm Here’s an article that tells how to make COLOR FLAMES. The basic gist is that you can supposedly buy these chemicals at supermarkets (yeah, I’m so sure…”Al, can I get a price check on Strontium Chloride for register 7?”) and then just toss them on the fire or make prepared logs that will burn different colors. Carmine – Lithium Chloride, Red – Strontium Chloride, Orange – Calcium Chloride (a bleaching powder), Yellow – Sodium Chloride (table salt) or Sodium Carbonate, Yellowish Green – Borax, Green – Copper Sulfate, Blue – Copper Chloride, Violet – 3 parts Potassium Sulfate / 1 part Potassium Nitrate (saltpeter), Purple – Potassium Chloride, White – Magnesium Sulfate (Epsom salts).  From the article: “Most can be found in a grocery or dry goods store, in the laundry or cleaner section. Look for copper sulfate in swimming pool supplies (already in water, which is fine). Potassium chloride is used as a salt substitute and may be found in the spice section. Epsom salts, borax, and calcium chloride may be found with laundry/cleaning supplies. Others, including strontium chloride, can be obtained from stores that specialize in rocketry or firework supplies.”

Josh - i have begun work on this already

Chris - Ok, but listen, Flamey McFirestein….NO burning down the woods!

Oirole - Hey guys. Got my early bird ticket today, and i just wanted to let you guys know ill be there With fire wood. now what im realy wondering about is this. will justin timberlake be snoozing in the trees again? what the hell is up with this avatar?

((new members to the board used to get an avatar of Chris dancing in a sperm Halloween costume))

Chris - Check here to find out why you’re a zygote. It does go away…although I still think that was one of the best Halloween costumes ever.

From what I understand, Justin will be there along with at least one of the monkeys (the other one went on a bender the last night of the Heron and we haven’t heard from him since) along with some new friends. Hopefully we’ll have them all geared up, too!

Josh - justin is already packed and ready to go….(he still hasn’t been cleaned from last year) both monkeys will be there with there 6′ parents! Thats right the monkeys parents will be there to keep an eye on them! Chris i am going up early this year with you guys also!

Chris - Cool! More muscle to carry shit! :thumb: What volunteer work are you doing?

Josh - me and jay are going up every other sunday from now until the herron to volunteer….we are gonna have all of our work done before the herron :thumb: also jay is concerned with your time line of events and would like to speak with you

Chris - Yeah, we’ll talk about it. I’ll give him a call this weekend. That’s when I’ll be able to call and have the time difference work out. There is a LOT to do in about two days to get ready. What all are you guys going to do on these Sundays? What do you get out of doing it? Are you going to be in the inner circle?

Josh - we are setting things up and clearing things in the woods for the herron….we are getting our volunteer time out of the way by doing this and we are working on better relations with the inner circle in hopes of being withen the inner circle….basically all of it = perks for a even better herron

Chris - Fucking nice! You want to know what a great perk would be? Being able to drive the van up to the campsite to unload. Carrying all that shit from the parking area to the woods…regardless of the fact that it’s only about 400 yards….sucks! Especially getting all sweaty before the Heron starts and knowing you won’t be able to shower for 4 days. See what you can do, Potential Inner Circle guy.

Oirole - I would like to second the mption that chris put forward. allthough if this option donsn’t pan out im bringing a wheel barrel or a 4 wheel cart.  Firewood can be heavy.  i saw a 4 wheel cart at lowes today for 40, and a bigger one for 70.  i have vivid memmories of how steep that hill was from the parking lot.  to bad i couldnt just tow it with my quad. Aother thing i would like to throw out there

how about setting up a small bar?  we could serve some kind of midevil drink.  like along the main trail. just a thought. come to think about it, there is that whole alcohol lic. thing, so we could give drinks away for things like…………cart wheels, back flips,, oooooorr  Gainers just a thought maybe even article of clothing could be traded for drinks just a thought we could call the bar somthin like the ball and chain stop. i noticed last year that we got plenty of visitors.  if we could capitalize on that some how. see where im going with this. let me know what you guys think. i have been to plenty of festavals where people make mad cash on goo balls, grilled cheese sandwiches, beeded necklaces (woven out of hemp)

Jeremy - From my personal experience dealing with the Heron ppl and officially operating as a “vendor”, its bullshit. But cash can be made, as long as you do it Friday or early Saturday when everyone still has cash.

The harvesting of beer cases has begun. I’ve decided to take all cases that are in good shape, no matter the brand, and sort it all out later. That way if we need more cardboard for backing or support we have it.

Chris you’re right, Saturday is not out of the question. Currently work schedule permits, just the kids thing up in the air, and no idea when that will be resolved. Also, got your letter yesterday, I’m sure Jason got his too by now. I’ve planned out my samurai armor. Lots of cardboard slats held together with plastic zip-ties. Helmet planned too. Also, I’m thinking of doing the bottle cap idea just for short leggings, short sleeves, and gauntlets.

Chris - Jer – You’re so fuckin’ comin’.  ;D

Oi – I think the Heron folk would require us to have a vendor pass to sell stuff, and the alcohol licensing would prevent us from charging money for it. All these friggin’ rules! Damn corporate America! However, giving it away in return for non-monetary items (or even a few drinks for a buck or two in a non-organized, non-advertised way) could definitely work. Backflips, gainers, etc…of course, we would get the most for it on Saturday night or Sunday when everyone else has run out. Also, I have been talking to Ellicottville Brewing Company about promoting their beer with samples at our site and they said that they’re already going to have a beer concession at the Heron. Thus, there will already be competition. All that being said, it sounds like an awesome idea! Anybody know how to make mead or ale? It would be worth doing just for the backflips and gainers…not to mention the people and new friends it would bring in.

Jeremy - I don’t think we have time to brew a batch of ale before the Heron. I think the last batch of beer Ryan made had to sit in the bottles for at least 4 weeks before it tasted good, that’s not counting time in barrel before that. Ellicottville will have a tasting stand?? Has there ever been a beer vendor at the Heron???? Great Caesars ghost, yuppie microbrew beer has infiltrated the Heron. Kids in baggy jeans on cell phones in the woods, microbrew beer, mass hysteria, dogs and cats LIVING TOGETHER!!

“Jer – You’re so fuckin’ comin’. ;D” Don’t jinx me. T-minus 15 days to my date in Mayville. I’m still dealing with clerks and motions and quashings and mumbo-jumbo. Just have some Korean ajuma do some prayers or singing or blood-letting for me k?

Josh - a delightful idea chris…maybe i will get a home brew kit and me and jay will experiment with it

Chris - You better be quick like a bunny. It takes a while for beer to ferment and…get all beery. We only have about 10 weeks till H-Day. Is it possible? I dunno…maybe. Oh, and for the record…Oi’s idea…not mine. Oi also mentioned food…that might not be too bad of an idea either. (What are these “goo balls” of which you speak? Somehow those two words, seperately or together, don’t remind me of something I would want to eat, but I’m intrigued.) Now let’s think: what are the best things to eat when you’re drunk? All we have to do is find three or four of the most appetizing things to drunkards and stoners, mix them together in a form that is easy to eat, and we have a winning product. Suggestions? Jer – See you Saturday, all decked out. Good work on the beer case harvest! Josh – I need to ask a favor. Jay, as you know, is having doubts on Trogdor and wants to make an original dragon for the camp mascot. Get him to a computer and show him the Trogdor email and maybe some other emails. He should probably also see the Trogdor game. I understand his want to use something original, but at the Heron we’re going for recognition to bring people to our camp. Homestarrunner.com (the Trogdor website) is one of the highest visited websites on the Internet (according to popdex.com) and is very popular with people in the age range we’re going for…early to mid-20′s. With Trogdor as our mascot we capitalize on the popularity they’ve already built and get recognizability, a theme to use for things like tattoos, and a statement of the kind of people we are to those who might want to stop by the campsite. With a Jay original, we have a badass dragon and something unique, without a doubt. However, we lose appeal to people walking by that would otherwise be attracted by the familiar image of Trogdor. Anybody? Thoughts? Suggestions? Bueller?

Jeremy - Christ I feel like I just sat at a boardroom table listening to someone’s pitch for something very corporate. Where are the charts, diagrams, and demographic studies?  Sure you references popdex, BUT I WANT A PIE CHART DAMMIT!!  Ooo, and nifty color-coded binders with info and stuff in them. Trogdor is good as a camp mascot.  We don’t want something too serious or badass looking because several things will happen:

a)  When you try too hard you just end up looking like a poser.

b)  At some point, probably 3am Saturday morning, you’ll all be sitting around a purple fire, in full armor with ale floggins in hand, looking up at a giant paper mache dragon that looks more like the Loch Ness monster and realize that you’re no better than Trevor and all those SCA weirdos.

c)  Meanwhile Jay will be getting laid somewhere.

*Part C will happen even if he went dressed like a fucking pink pokémon but I felt it needed to be noted.

There will be enuff other stuff going on with ppl asking about the armor, Justin, monkeys, glow stuff, etc that unless we’re saying “trogdor” every goddam 15 seconds it’ll just be an easy way for ppl to find the camp. BTW, when Trogdor arrives I will have red LEDs ready to install in his eyes. I dunno how weather proof they’ll be but you’ll have them. Actually dude, can you measure the width of Trogdor’s eyes on your poster? Maybe we can go bigger and brighter than just LEDs, for the same price.

Chris - This is what I DO, man. Yeah, I didn’t want to mention the SCA stuff in a derogatory sense (this being NERDhatch and all), but I had the same thought. Trogdor will be endearing to drunken females…a badass dragon (while cool) tends to put girls off. It’s a sad but true fact…how many chicks do you know who can dungeon master?  Jer – The width between the center of the eyes is about 3.8-3.9 cm. I’d love to tell you in inches, but I’m outside the US so all I can get is metric. The distance from outer edge of left to outer edge of right is 5.2cm. The width from inner edge to inner edge is 2.6cm. The left eye is 1.2cm in diameter. The right eye is 1.3cm in diameter.

Josh - you must not know about me and mascots….that thing won’t make it to saturday :reverse:

Oirole - :rofl: LOL…. images of sitting around a purple fire, with a dragon pinata sporting red blinkity blink eyes, and getting humped by a 6 foot blow up monkey.  all while a hot 18 year old slave chick wench is serving some kinda moonshine to the local passer bys, in exchange for backflips and gainers.  LOL…………anyway, here is a link of what a goo ball is.  i have consumed 2 in my life, that i know of and both seemed to be missing an essential ingredient. By the way, what is a gainer?

Jeremy - If only we could have really tall chairs to watch all this from. Then the image would be complete. Really tall chairs with megaphones. And pellet guns. And I think a gainer is just another word for backflip. Or its a forward flip. Dunno.

Oirole - YES…………………..And with bacon, with extra bacon, and bacon on top, and bacon on the side, and bacon in a taco. :flip:

Josh - i will slide my bacon in some girls taco!!

Jeremy -This from the guy that was vowing abstenance for 180 days. ::)

Josh - hey it was a good idea at the time!

Jeremy - So was the Titanic.

Chris - Alright, let’s not have this very important thread degrade into namecalling and playground pissing contests…that’s what most of Josh’s other threads are for. According to Wikipedia: A Gainer in the Gymnastic sense is a back tuck that is executed while your body has forward momentum. Um…what? How the fuck do you do that? Move forward, but go back…riiiiiight. If anybody does one of those at the Heron, they deserve my goo balls. (Unless they’re a dude…then they can have Jay’s goo balls.)Speaking of snacks (I was talking about the snacks, right?), I have an idea for something we can make for the Heron. Here in Korea they have something called coffee peanuts. They taste kind of sweet, though I can’t find anything besides the name that says they’re actually covered with some kind of coffee product. I think they’d go over well at the Heron, but I have to figure out a way to get a bunch of them home. Can anybody think of something we can make with them? I’m thinking like a trail mix ball or something like that. How do they get popcorn balls to stick together? Josh, you can beat the fuck out of ONE little monkey, but leave Troggy alone. I’ll even make you a little Trogdor you can mutilate if you want, but the big one should be left alone. You need to keep your eye on the torches this year so they won’t get stolen again…you won’t have any time to mess with the mascots.

Jeremy -That looks like a bowl full of bugs if you glance at it quick enuff. I know there’s rules about bringing foods into the country, especially fruits and stuff because of the possibility of importing foreign bugs.  Dunno what the rules on nuts are.  especially fruits and stuff because of the possibility of importing foreign bugs.  Dunno what the rules on nuts are.

“How do they get popcorn balls to stick together?” Buy them a drink, eventually get them into a pair of tight leather pants.  This is how you get pretty much any kind of balls to stick together.

Oirole - uuuuuuuu. that looks like a bowl of cockroches. but im sure there tasty. most foods that look strange to me, usally surprise me in the taste.

Chris - No, THIS looks like a bowl full of bugs…because that’s what they are. It’s called bundagi, and it’s terrible.

((lost image))

They stink up every street in Korea (along with the squid and other seafood they cook in portable food service carts.) The coffee peanuts are in sealed packages, so I think they’d be okay…I hope. If not, I lose 20 bucks worth of nuts…that’s a lot less than what you lost, Jer. ;D

Jeremy - I’ve lost all desire to re-visit Korea now. My mom has never mentioned eating bugs. And I’ve never seen bugs in the Korean food stores here. Holy Lord, those Native Koreans are crazy. Long live Kormericans, or Wasians if you prefer.

Oirole - doublle uuuuuuuuuu that looks like a bowl of shit, and im sure it isnt tasty!

i would like to claim the rights to a Guiness Suit of Armor. If i have to endorse a brand, thats what it must be for me. I will try hitting some bars this weekend. im thinking i will need at least 20 to 25 6-pack boxes. i was also thinking a suit of duct tape would be intresting. not the plastic all pupose stuff. but the actual DUCT Tape that is shiny and metal like. Or just as an accent, like trim. maybe i am over thnking this one. beer cans would be nice but too, but, i think static is right. uncomfortable, to much effort.

Josh - “Alright, let’s not have this very important thread degrade into namecalling and playground pissing contests…that’s what most of Josh’s other threads are for.”

I.hate.you.

Chris - Sorry, I saw the opportunity and jumped. BURN!

I think Guiness armor would look awesome! I personally can’t drink the stuff…it feels like I’m eating my beer and then I taste like battery acid for the next three days. The colors will go great, though! You can be like the Black Knight. Maybe we should take pictures during the creation of our suits and make a little part of NerdHatch for it? That can be our niche…cardboard armor experts! Anything you need related to cardboard armor, go talk to the guys at NerdHatch. NerdHatch: Home of the Drunken Dungeoners

Jeremy - Your fiance must have that,  no luvin por joo!! Pictures DURING the armor creation? BRILLIANT!! Once we’ve got some stuff I can make a new entry in the basement part of the site for it. I thought I mentioned it in here somewhere, but my armor will be Molson Canadian samurai armor featuring TWIN LABEL TECHNOLOGY!!

Oirole - BRILLIANT !!! Lots of people love or hate guiness. Im very aware of it. My favorite beer is youngs double chocolate, and one from a micro brew in Baltimore, MD called Peg Leg (kind of a bacon and killians irish red mix flavor) but i dont like the colors as much on either. anyway, taking pictures of my suit of armor would be a snap. i found a cool molson hat.

Jeremy -  My 7 year old son has one of those, but its a Labatt Blue.  His older brother was the ring bearer in a wedding, and all the groomsmen had them for the bachelor party.  My 7-year old felt left out since his brother was getting all sorts of attention and ring bearer gifts and stuff, so the groom gave him an extra Labatt hat. They’re actually really sturdy.

Oirole -Here is what i will start with. Just a box i had laying around. okay, someetimes i drink it by the case :wiggle: You guys know there is going to be people there wearing miller high life armor after they see us, strutting around in these outfits.  it will be like, oh my god, did you just see that 10 year old with the budweiser shorts? along with purple fires, dragons in the trees, naked monkeys and gooball patrons. come to think of it, i did see santa clause there last year

Jeremy - You’re probably right, but ours will be better beer and it wont be held together by twigs, mud, and zig-zags.

Josh - and that damn guy in the duck costume

Chris - You mean THIS GUY!?!?!?

((lost image))

Yeah, we’ll be trendsetters for the masses to follow, but I doubt people will be able to copy us very quickly. Not BH06 but probably BH07 will have a ton of beer knights walking around. It’ll be the perfect mix of hippie festival and Renaissance Faire. Alrighty…I have a literacola and I’m ready to start some cardboard smithing! Let it begin!!!

Jeremy - Chris, in case you missed it in chata, I showed Jay Trogdor and some other emails (including Dangeresque and some poopsmith) and he’s in. He was convinced before I even mentioned limozeen or the cheat commandos.

Chris - Excellent! It doesn’t take much Strongbad to convince somebody that that’s the way to go. Now we just have to convince Josh that it’s Beer KNIGHTS…not Beer Priests.

Josh - do not worry about me white eyes….jeremy mark me down for heiniken

Chris - I was wondering if someone was going to take Heiniken! Great choice…I was about <> this close to taking it, but I like the taste of Labatt’s so much better. Beautiful…4 beer knights: The Blue Knight, The Green Knight, The Black Knight, and The Red and White Knight…aka The Pink Knight. Hmm….

Oirole - Help….Im having a hell of a time gathering guinness boxes. it seems like most people like to drink it from the tap. if anyone wants to mail me some, i woul greatly appriciate it. As for heni, molson xxx, labats or even rouge dead guy ale, i can get tons of that, for free. so im sending out a message that if any needs beer boxes. i can ship them, in return for postage. and of course if anyone comes acroos guinness boxes i will reimburse for the shipping.

Josh - hey how many you need? got a buddy who owns a bar and sells it off the tap lol…let me know how many boxes and i will see if i can’t get them for you.

Oirole - Hey that would be great josh i need like 10 guinness extra stout boxes and/or 4 coragated guinness extra stout CORAGATED case boxes. the big ones, that hold 4 6-packs. or whatever you can get. i will reimburse you for the shipping, if you can get them. just send them by usps.

Josh - you can get with me at the herron for the shipping “cost”. you might have somethings i would rather have than money. i will check in with my bar owning friends around here

Jeremy - I’ve harvested a second round of cases from Wegmans, the back of my truck looks like I’m gonna have a rockin’ par-tay. And I’ve been grabbing all cases that aren’t torn or soggy. Static, you’re gonna have no issues, Labatt Blue and Blue Light is like the beer of choice for Buffalo. I have more of those than anything else. Also have Corona, Yuengling, and Coors. Not a single Guiness unfortunately. Oirole, if you can get Molson XXX cases, Jason needs them bad, he can’t find any in Jamestown. And fuck you on the “pink” knight. Red knight will do fine funk you very much.

Oirole - I saw at least 5 or 6 xxx molson cases at this place that has piles of beer cartons so that you can pick from 200 different individual beers.  if there are any more ill grab those to. As the bumper sticker reads “Pittsburgh = a drinking town, with a football problem”  ill make a trip there again soon and post here when im ready to ship.  Also, i think since it is going to be a little dificult to get guinness cases im going to be using other BLACK cases form some micro breweries like Rouge dead guy, old leg humper.  i think it will stil come out decent.  ill post pictures soon.

Josh - i am begining the search this weekend for you…i know three bar owners and someone who manages a supermarket….combined i should be able to get the guiness.  we have a problem with justin….it would seem he cannot sustain air. justin might not make it to the herron this year.

Jeremy - Aw no way! You can’t find the leak?

Josh - :dunno: Mr. Lynch is handling said mascot. Also the 6′ monkeys are “Fucking huge!” I am going to get pics of them this weekend and post them lol.

Jeremy - Justin needs to make it, repeat appearances are necessary. And here’s a pic I found of the monkey, remember he’s SIX FEET TALL,  just found them.  You get a dozen inflatable neon monkeys for $20, they’re almost 2 feet tall each.  BUT, the cool thing is, you can get matching neon monkey tattoos $4 for 72 tatts.

Chris - Those are fuckin’ SWEET!!! Man…maybe we should’ve been Camp Monkeyshit instead. Next year? Justin definitely needs to come back. He took a beating last year, so I don’t doubt that he’s hurting. But still, with a little love and goo, he should be fine. (That’s not a very good sentence.)

Josh - and with that last sentence i am going to leave this all up to Jay for love and gew

Jeremy - That Camp Monkeyshit thing is starting to grow on me.

Josh - it could be a mini camp….run by justin!  Here is what my shield will look like!

chris i have some blue light boxes for you…still hunting for the guiness

Oirole - Well here is my helment so far.  its a work in progress

Let me know what you guys think. if you want to know how i got the blades to stand erect, i just showed them some porn.

Josh - fucking sweet!!

Chris - That is the coolest helmet I’ve ever seen….damn….I better step up my design or I might look foolish! :jester: Nice shield, too,Josh man, I can’t wait to get home and put this thing together! I think I just peed a little.

Oirole - Thank you guys its not done yet. i have a few more thigs to add. also i want to make a big ass sword for jousting. ya see i got one of those carts from lowes for carrying my shit up that big ass hill. i thougt we could use the carts to joust on saturday night. otherwise im just going to carry around a huge fucking sword for no reason at all. ill put up a pic when its done. josh, is that sheild made out of plastic? dose it have a handle on the back? its really sturdy looking. oh and i dont think im going to need any more guinness boxes. that is unless i cut something wrong and totally fuck up. salan cha

Josh - That shield is a party tray and a red star….very sturdy. I am going to be placing some straps on the back…but i will be throwing it like captain america tosses his shield.

Jeremy - Josh is gonna be tossing shields around, Oirole’s toting a huge fucking sword. There’s gonna be a dragon and inflatible monkeys all over the camp. Colored flames. Wagon jousting fights. Shit if we were gonna cause this much havok we should’a just been vikings.

Oirole - Big Fucking Sword

Jeremy - Holy flying fuck!!!! You pick up Chris’ phone calls from Korea with that thing??? If it rains you all have something to hide under now.

Josh - hmmm….i must show mr lynch this sword….also mr lynch is having a costume change….he is having issues with XXX right now and might be making the jump to……CORONA!!

Jeremy - Update. I can identify 3 major factors hindering any chance of K and I going to the Heron. Work, Kids, and money. One of those may be eliminated. My work schedule is changing effective June 19, I’ll be working Wed, Thr, and Sun nights. That’s right, no more Friday or Saturday nights. BUT, don’t jinx me yet. I have a lingering suspicion since my partner already has Friday July 7th approved off, I may be asked to cover. Cross your fingers.

Oirole - Wow, thats a grim situation, you gotta read all these posts thinking i hope i can go, i hope i can go, i hope i can go. and we carry on and on about how great its going to be. Wow, i hope you can go.  <: Prey that fate guides you to the heron man! Just keep the faith! Just use kung fu visulization techniuqes. it will work, you just got to keep the faith. Try omeing to ooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaoooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaoooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Josh - positive thoughts obi one! if anything the knights will kidnap thee and take you to the herron!! :reverse:

Oirole - 38DAYS………………..AND THE MADDNESS BEGINS………………..Beer Knights. Purple Fires. Dragons. Goo Balls. GIANT MONKEYS. Wagon Jousting. Flips, gainers,  Beeds for thong. Drum Circles. a big fucking sword :banana::jester:

Jeremy - Whatever movie that’s for, its the best trailer I’ve ever read. Dropped off my first load of cardboard at Jason’s this past weekend. I’ve got tomorrow off and hopefully I’ll be stopping by the bottle return again and claiming the Memorial Day returns. BTW, when I stopped at Jay’s I saw the beginnings of his chainmail…he’s nuts, absolutely fucking nuts.

Josh - hehehehehehe

Jeremy -’Trip 2 to the Wegman’s bottle return is complete. Holy crap ppl in Buffalo drink alot of Labatt. My hunch on hitting the place after Memorial day was a good one. Yesterday (saturday) I went, and there was alot of great cardboard, so I started breaking down boxes. An employee comes up and I ask him if its ok I’m taking them, he says “sure, less work for me to do” and then starts breaking down boxes with me and putting them into my cart. About 5 minutes later a second employee comes up and helps too. When they asked what I needed them for I told them about the Heron and the Beer Knights, one of the guys was already planning on going to the Heron. So if some guy walks up to the camp and says he works at Wegmans and helped, he’s not bullshitting. He even said that I should’a been there an hour earlier, cuz he just cleared it out of tons of boxes. So I’m gonna hit it again tomorrow and see if I can get more exotic boxes.

Oirole - I checked for some XXX molson and Guinness boxes yesterday at this place that i went to previously, and they didnt have anything except exotics I.E. rouge, old leg humper, delirium, and so on.  But i will keep checking, every time i go. Here in PA you can only buy alcohol from a STATE distributor.  Kinda limits my opportunitys to get good cardboard. :-\

Drew - You guys should’a told me about this earlier… I could have seen if Guinesse would have sent you stuff from Blighty!

I wish I didn’t spend so much when I went home over Xmas (near $11k :huh: ) else I’d so be there for Heron! That is unless I set up a “Bring Andy home for Heron” Paypal button!

Oirole - good idea :thumb:  I have wood

((lost image))

Guy i know gave it to me for FREE

that didnt sound so good…………i meant FIRE wood

wait, that could be taken in the wrong way to. i have logs. i give up…………

Jeremy - LMAO Your wood is thick and sturdy-looking. Me thinks it will burn long time. (teehee)

Josh - Jesus thats alot of wood lol!!!

Oirole - now i have to spit the big logs. i tried to split a few peices with an axe today, but it was alot of work. this stuff is maple, a hardwood. the few peices i split were very dry. so, i guess ill have to rent a hydrolic log splitter. home depot= $55 for 4 hours. whatever i can split in 4 hours is what i will bring. we only need enough for 2 nights. Also i know some other people that are coming with a bunch of wood.

Jeremy - Can’t you rent a chainsaw for cheaper than that? I mean, hydralic stuff is fun and all but $55 to make wood into smaller pieces? There’s gotta be another way. Maybe ninjas? Ninjas with chainsaws?

Oirole - I have a 20″ chainsaw with a new blade, and it took me a good 15 min to get 1 pass down the long center of a log. This is maple and it is very dense. So i tried using an axe and a wedge. That was to much work, and im still hurting tonight. So i turn to technology. a log splitter rated at 30 tons of preasure will split theseslogs like eggs. im only going to split the extra huge logs for small wood. i will bring the smaller logs to use as long burners. im such a nerd, this must be the rite place for me.

Josh - a nerd logger! You belong here man

Jeremy - A thought occured…then I lost it…then I burped and it came back. If you gotta rent a log spitter for $55, plus pay for the gas to haul all that weight up here (hard wood and all), wouldn’t it just make sense to buy a bunch of wood up here for $30? I drove past 3 or 4 places this week in Mayville that were selling wood for cheap. I know you got that wood for free and all but, like I said, just a thought.

Oirole - That sounds like a great idea! Why dont you stop at a couple of these places and see if i can get enough wood for 2 nights for $30. Then if it looks like a good deal, set me up with the address and phone number of these places. Make sure to ask them if they will have wood on july 7th. That would save on gas and log splitter rental. Is mayville close to where the heron will be? i dont mind driving a few miles out to get the wood considering the savings.

Jeremy - Its not too far. I was driving between Mayville and Westfield when I saw all these woodpiles for sale. Google lists Westfield as 14.7 miles from Sherman (Heron), and Mayville as 9.5 miles. I’ve gotta drive through there again in a couple weeks, I’ll make some stops and get more info.

Oirole - Oh, thats not far at all. i could just go over there friday evening when im up there, and fill up the back of my SUV after the camp is all put togeather.  then we could use the carts to bring it back to camp from the lot, or pile it on one of those tractors flat beds.  Build a fire and roast somthing, make it purple or any other color.  and get drunk.  Be drunk men sitting around in beer armor with 6 foot monkeys, and whatever else, that i have lost track of at this point. im sorry but i forgot what that one guys name was last year.  he was at the camp, and everytime someone would say something obscene or funny, he would SPIT his drink out. LOL Im still luaging at it.  and then josh throwing that can of beer into the ground when we learned that the torch had been stolen. LOL

Where is static? He hasnt posted for a while. i know he is in s korea. Maybee he’s just busy….

Jeremy - Spitting?  That was probably Jason, the token black guy. See how that works?  Nut twisting, Chris; spitting, Jason; running rampant through the woods, Josh.  A niche for everyone. Oh, and Jay got the poo on him. teehee

Where is static?  He hasnt posted for a while…I was wondering that too, but its the end of the school year and being a teacher he’s probably uber-busy.  Foreign-uber-busy…..but the forum lists him as last active Today at 01:01:23 PM. So….dunno.

Oirole - Chewy = is a freind of mine. i bowl with her and her husband and they go the the heron every year. id like to shout out to her that She should post something.  :)

Chris -Hey, sorry. I’m still here. There’s quite a bit going on over here in Kimchiland. Vicky is leaving next Sunday, so there’s the normal amount of drama because of that. Plus, she wants to do all this stuff before she leaves, so all the touristy kind of things that there are to do…we’re doing ‘em. Last weekend we went to Hong Kong with a couple of friends,  so I’ve been trying to recover from that too. We got in at 6:00 Monday morning and had to work at 9:30. In addition to all this, the owners of the school know that they’re losing two of their most competent teachers this month, so they’re trying to pack some high profile events into the last couple of weeks I’m here because they know I’ll do a good job and impress the parents. On top of all that, we have two new teachers coming in (the replacements for me and Vicky) so it’s my job as Head Teacher to get everything set up for them, show them around when they come in, make them feel welcome, and get them acclimatized to school life and life in Korea. But don’t worry! I’ve been keeping up on all the news! Oi, definitely go with buying wood at/around the Heron. There’s assloads of places around that’ll be selling. Me, Josh,  and Jay (the guy who spits) are going up early. so we’ll probably be able to stock up a bit before you even get there. Everybody can just chip in on the wood later on. My armor situation is struggling with all the work (see above), but I’ll have weekend in a couple of weekends with a house to myself and nothing to really do. It would still be easier with somebody else to help, but…eh. I would like to see some pictures of everybody’s armor for ideas though. I’d hate to show up and not be up to par with everyone. I’ll try to post more regularly, but until next Monday, I’m kinda booked. And I’ll apologize in advance for any depression or heartwreching grief that I bring to the forum.

Josh - yeah about me going up early…not really happening…work schedual is somewhat fucked right now but jay already has his ticket and is ready to go…i will be up there friday through sunday and not volunteering…also the armor thing has been on hold with me working 60 hours a week and i am not sure on the progress that jay is having.

Oirole -  Nice to hear from you Chris,  if i were in s. korea, i would be soaking in all the sights too. i would be snapping photos like a guy that snaps alot of photos. Yes, i would be that guy. I have alot of that firewood chopped into smaller peices by cutting the big peices into disks.  the fire dosent care what shape the log is. so ill bring whatever the back of my suv holds.  sould be around 150 pounds. kinda like bringing another passenger.  as far as gas milage, i hauled my 400 pound fourwheeler 200 miles this weekend, and my fuel milage was cut by about 15-20%, and i was driving in mountains.  But i am still open to going and getting more Firewood, once i get up there. i have been posting photos of my beer armor, but i dont quite understand why no one else has. Just a thought, maybe we should add dietcoke and mentos to the heron list…Maybe we could see what happens when you put dietcoke and mentos into a 6 foot monkeys butt…..So i was at the heron and all this stuff happened …..   …..  ….  and i saw a 6 foot monkey fly …. …. and crash into a purple fire

Jeremy -LMAO…classic. We’d have to cover him in glow-stick fluid first to make sure he’s visible in the night sky. The reason why I’m not posting armor pics is…well…pretty much any hope of me going is now shot. I am getting my new work schedule but as I feared I have to cover the weekend because someone else requested the days off. I have to work Thursday, Friday, and Sunday night that week. 13 hour shifts each. I can already hear you guys saying “what about Saturday?” well, i’d be getting home from work, in Buffalo, Saturday 7am, tired, have to sleep, then get up around 3pm. Getting someone to watch the kids, then driving my ass down to Sherman, etc etc. I’d have less than 12 hours to spend there. It would be more stress than fun for me. Nontheless, I’m still gonna try to help out. I’ve still got a bunch of cardboard to deliver to Jay, and I’m gonna keep looking for more. Plus I’m gonna look into those firewood places like I said I would. Chris, remember that favor you asked me about in chat? The special stickers? Yeah, big fat no go. Since the stickers have the phone number for that state’s hotline they won’t mail a mass quantity of them to me. That goes for both Washington and Pennsylvania. As far as I’ve found NY has phased out the program and doesn’t make them anymore. I’m still researching but so far its not looking good.

Josh - next weekend i am getting more supplies for my armor…i have enough to make it now but i need more items…i found some interesting heinikin items i am incorporating to my armor as well….btw oriole are you ready to joist?

Oirole - Am i ready to joust? lol Well i got a big sword… now i need to construct a sheild. But first i have to finish trying to get the L.E.D. s to work on my helment.

Josh - shit i spelled that wrong….are you ready to get FUCKED up i mean lol

Oirole - ’Fucked up? Uh,  my blade is made of cardboard, tin foil and a 1/2 inch peice of copper pipe. if you show up with some kinda titanium allow beastmaster skull crusher, i will have to forfit. although i do plan to consume my share guinness, i dont want to get fucked up as in scared, mamed or detached from ANY important body parts.

so talkking about LEDs… ive been goofing around with trying to get some leds lit up.  problem is i keep burning them out.  so when jeremy said to spread light stick fluid all over the flying monkey it got me thinking.  ill just spread lick fluid all over my helment. heres a pic of what i was trying to do.  ive tried watch batterys, resistors, AAA batterys, wiring in paralel and wiring in series.  they just keep burning out. ((lost image)) light sticks sound much easier, cheaper and i wont be screwing around with wires during the whole hearing. Thanks  jeremy  :thumb:

Jeremy - We have a long standing Heron tradition of pouring lightstick fluid on us, our camp, and even random passers by. Plus you can get them at the dollar store. Started like 3-4 years ago when I bought one of those really thin glow “cords” that you wear like a necklace. I must have walked around the woods twirling it for an hour straight. Then I looked at my pants and asked Jay, ”uh, am I glowing or just really drunk?”. From twirling it I worked a crack into the plastic and was flinging a mist of glow fluid all over me. We just kinda looked at eachother and watched the lightbulb go off. Within a few minutes our campground looked like an alien exploded there. Then next morning we realized that some of the sticks were military-grade chem lights, and I stained the shit outta a pair of jeans. The dollar store variety went away with no stains. With the LEDs, you were putting the longer lead from the LED to the positive side of the battery right?Cheap LED instructions.

Josh - No worries Oriole I won’t hurt you…unless…i can make my sword with FIRE!! Tiki fuel of course!

Jeremy -Since there’s no “bad idea” smiley, this one will have to do :smash:

Oirole - Yes, i conected the battery (+) to the longer lead on the LED wich i found out is (+) This is what i did when i wired them Paralell. When i wired in series i went from the battery (+) to the LED (+) and then from the same LED (-) to the (+) on the next LED to end up with the last LED (-) going to the (-) on the battery. Both ways the LEDs light up, and then fizzle out around 2-3 volts. i did some more research and i need to use a dropping resistor, and to find the value of the resistor that i need i have to do an ASS LOAD OF MATH wich in my opinion is to much effort, for something im going to use for only a few days, granted it isnt to hot to wear it in the first place. also being the way i am, id be sitting there the whole time, drunk out of my head, tring to get this dam thing to work, and saying things like “i wonder if that conveinence store down the road about 15 miles will let me plug my soldering iron in?” no……… this is to much effort. id rather spend my time flying a kite.

Jeremy - Oooo, kites are fun. Did you know they banned kite flying in Pakistan? Yeah, cuz they like to have kite battles, where people put razors on their kites and coat the strings with glass shards and stuff, first one to disable the other guy’s kite wins. Bad thing, little kids like to watch kites, well one fell and slit a kid’s throat. This is what happens when you have nothing else to play with but sand and rocks.

Oirole - That is utterly heartbreaking  Im still gonna bring a kite to fly

Josh - WOOO!!! Do it!!

Jeremy - You should bring a completely separate outfit for kite flying, like completely granola outfit. And then fly your free-spirit kite right over the swimming pond. Then crash your kite often, and when people start to complain to you go all hippy and accuse them of being with the establishment and trying to supress your free will to soar like an eagle man. If you can muster up some tears at some point, and somehow mention any kind of space alien conspiracy, bonus points.

Josh - i might be the one to start shit with him to draw a crowd….maybe we can make it into some kinda act!

Chris - So, do you two really want to be at the Heron, or not so much? You have all these great plans on how to be asked to leave. Just make sure you don’t decapitate any children while the cops are there for their 20 minute display of power. I don’t know if the golf cart guards will give a damn. So, Josh, what’s your deal with volunteering and going up early and all that? If you aren’t going up to volunteer, doesn’t that essentially leave Jay out was well, since you were the one driving? We’ve got about two weeks here to get everything put together. I am going to be running around like an insane peson trying to get everything ready, make my armor and all that shit. Any chance we can have a war council, you, me, and Jay (and Jer if he’s able and willing) on Tuesday morning? Maybe all meet at Jay’s and figure out what kind of stuff we have, what we don’t have, and all that junk. Then I’m going to get to shopping and packing and cardboardsmithing. Fuck, it’s going to be close! Wood. Why is wood always such an issue? Thanks for hooking us up Oirole! Just bringing some of that wood will help a ton! Of course, we always have the Amish guy across the street from the Heron that we’ll have to hit early before he sells all his sticks. If we all chip in $20-$30, we’ll have a roaring fire the whole weekend, no sweat. The only real issue is transportation. With your wagon, Oi, I think we’ll be set. It’ll still be a pain lugging wood along in the heat, but it won’t matter in the long run. So, Vicky’s been gone for about a week now. It’s been pretty rough on this end but work’s been keeping me busy and I went to see the World Cup game at City Hall in Seoul at 4am Saturday, so I haven’t had a lot of time to think about it. Regardless, I’m going to need beer and fun at the Heron…and lots of both. I’ve got a week left here in Korea. 5 days of school, the weekend, and then I’m home! It’s been a decent time here…bad shit happened, worse shit happened, but some good stuff happened too. Mostly it’s just been lonely. I can’t wait to be around people that I can understand again and know that I can talk to any random person on the street that I feel like starting a conversation with. It’ll be weird being able to understand everyone around me and I’ll probably feel like I have to listen to what everybody is saying, but that will pass. AND FOOD!!! I can’t wait to eat real food! I’m so sick of tuna and rice and kimbop and yubu chobop and galbi…well, acutally, galbi is pretty good but I’d prefer steak. I might get fat when I get home, just cuz I can! So, I guess I’m back! I needed a week to grieve (still not done, but I’m not catatonic either). Now I’m ready to get started putting cardboard together and packing my stuff to come home. And, of course, I’ll be posting more often. Life is moving on, one way or another. Right now. the Heron is all that’s keeping me going so let’s make sure it’s memorable. I can’t wait to see everyone and be around friends again!

I just had a bleak thought…what if the weather’s shitty for the Heron? Every Heron I can remember but one has had nice, warm, sunny weather. The one that was rainy just kind of sucked. I know we can’t do anything about the weather, but I was wondering if anybody had any ideas on what it might be like. I did a little research and it looks like Western New York is going to be rain and ass for almost two weeks before the Heron, but I didn’t see any forecasts beyond Tuesday the 3rd. What do you think?

Jeremy - I’m sure any weather forcast we look at now has a 50/50 chance of being correct, but I know I’ve been to…3 (?) Herons, and its rained and I’ve gotten sick all 3 times. Plus packing up camp gear is one thing, packing up wet camp gear with a hangover sucks ass. Cardboardsmithing…good luck with that.

Josh - chris we have canopys….i think three in total!

Oirole - the Weather forcast looks good so far july 6th = 0% chance of rain

Jeremy - Um…someone ask about rain?

((lost image))

K’s Dad took these yesterday.  This is I-88, about 40 miles northeast of Binghamton, NY.  That exit that branches off right where the road washed out is the one we take to get to her parents house.  There’s a creek that runs under there, a creek that’s normally about 6 feet wide and comes up to my ankles, I’ve driven an ATV down it without my boots getting wet.

((lost image))

If you look at the right edge of the pic that’s what the creek looks like now.  Her Dad said crews can see the top of 2 semis, barely, in the water down there.  It washed out in the middle of the night and with that curve and no warning one truck from each lane drove off.  They think they’re going to find cars down there too once the water level starts to drop. We were gonna drive out to her folks, on that road, tomorrow. So, um, you guys were wondering about rain huh.  Yeah.  PA activated their National Guard, and Virginia is in a state of emergency.  So, since you guys talked rain and this happened do me a favor and stay off the topic of STD’s or nukes plz.

Yahoo News articleabout the flooding had this paragraph about the scene:

A swollen creek carved a 25-foot-deep chasm through all four lanes of Interstate 88, about 35 miles northeast of Binghamton, N.Y., and two truckers were killed early Wednesday when their rigs plunged into the gaps, officials said.

Chris - I am DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!!!!!!!!!!! My last day at work was Friday (and a bitch of a last day it was), yesterday I had my farewell party at an amusement park, I packed up my shit last night (most of it), finishing packing and cleaning my apartment today, going for a farewell dinner tonight, and then at 9:00 tomorrow morning I’m off to Incheon airport to come home! I’m getting little twinges of melancholy about leaving, but you’ll have that about anywhere. I took all the pictures off the walls and removed all my personal touches from the apartment, so it doesn’t really feel like home any more. Besides, I just keep telling myself that I’m going back to America where I can understand what people say, know exactly what I’m buying and how to ask for what I need, eat healthy food instead of whatever junkfood isn’t made out of squid, and be able to talk my way out of situations instead of trying to use my 10 phrase Korean vocabulary (hello, goodbye, thank you, how much?, this, where?, Miyongha Won restaurant, Juyeop Subway Station, I speak little Korean language, I’m sorry). In addition, I’ll be away from all the bad memories I have from here AND, most of all, I have the HERON to make everything okay! So, a couple of you I’ll see on Tuesday (maybe), some on Thursday, and some…whenever Jer gets the sack to come to the Heron. So, out of curiosity, is it just me or does everybody have Heron dreams? I had a dream a few nights ago that I missed a night of the Heron and I was unconsolable. We set up on Thursday and then got back to the camp on Saturday night. I was devestated. There was also something about Jay and some 16 year old girls, so that might be prophetic, but we’ll see. Maybe my calling in life is to create the next Heron?

Josh - i thought you did once and called it fuchfest?!

Chris - Once? Pfft….at LEAST 4 times. Although I’d have to say the Fuchsfest saga was much like Star Wars: the first three were great…after that, it just went downhill. Was there actually a 5th, or was that more of a me and a certain blonde someone by a campfire in the woods and me getting wrecked and cockblocking myself? Regardless, should there be another one, I’ll call it Fuchsfest VI to equate with Episode III. Hopefully it will redeem Fuchsfest IV (terrible) and V (possibly didn’t happen?). I should start merchandising now!

Jeremy - Chris, there are 3 classes of Korean junkfood, those with squid, those with shrimp, and those with seseme seeds.

I don’t recall fuchfest 4 or 5. I do recall playing wingman twice, once to Chautauqua Institute to meet some Ohio chicks, and once to camp out in the middle of nowhere, and I got stuck in a tent with a chick who had a boyfriend (who was that again??). I dunno when I’m gonna be able to see any of you folks. Due to the floods and crap we didn’t drive out there Thursday. Route 17 was closed in 8 different places, 90 was closed in 3, and 88 was closed in 4. To get there I would have had to take a 3 hour detour. Funk that. So we’re going Monday morning, not coming back till Wednesday night, then I work Thursday, Friday, and Sunday nights. So I’m not free till like…the 10th or later. Josh, did you guys get all that cardboard that I left behind Jay’s place??!? Please tell me I didn’t collect all those cases and carry them in my car for weeks for no reason.

Josh - Honestly I ain’t to sure. He knows about it though. I took a break from that scene for a couple of days.

Oirole - Happy 4th of july everyone! My beer armor is looking like its almost done, is anyone going to post pics of armor they have built? anyone?

Josh - uh….

Oirole - Anyway…..like i said, my armor is done, and all my supplies are all togeather. all i have to do at this point is load my truck up and drive up there. im planning on getting there when the gates open. i wonder how many other people will do the same? is there going to be a long line to get in? last year i didnt get in untill around 5pm. the chick i came with had to go shopping and get a bunch of stuff togeather. she turned out to be alot of fun, but that is somthing completly different. so i came up with this realy cool way of using bottle caps as buttons for my sheild. i flattened them out with a hammer and put two small holes in them with a flathead screwdriver. then i strung a zip tie threw them to hold the straps onto the back of my sheild. it works pretty good. but i only colllected a few guinness caps, so i didnt have many to work with. i think this would have been a good way to make chainmail also. so josh, how are the purple fire chems coming along? that will be intresting. im kinda a pyro, and i love to burn stuff up. also the weather reports are looking good. 80 degrees all weekend. not bad. very little chance of rain if any. another thing is, do they have alot of food there? last year we brought our own food, and i cant remember if any was sold there. im going to bring beer, water and munchies. but stuff like hanburgers and hotdogs just seems like a pain in the ass right now. you gota fool with the ice and extra coolers and all that. im going to be a lazzzzzy beer knight.

Josh - food…we got that covered….beer armor…chris is making some…if i have the time i will also but i have been busy. chris and jay will be there thurs. and i will be there friday.are you getting a kite?

Oirole - Yeah, im going to get a kite at big lots if they have any left. ive had a hard time finding one.

Josh - i will have a kite also

Oirole - do you have one of those big chinease ones or do you have a cheap kmart one like the one im going to get.

Josh - oh know fucking dollar store here…i ain’t spending money on something i am gonna lose lol….i will be up there friday but later in the day…i work all night so i wanna get a little sleep before i go plus i might have to pay bills before i take off…also i have a baby due any day and the mother wants to be reasured that i have ample means to be contacted (2 cell phones and Jay’s cell phone lol)…otherwise i can’t wait to get this going because i need a stress relief like you wouldn’t believe…

Jeremy - Its Thursday which means Jason should be firmly entrenced at the Heron right now. Not sure about the rest of you or your transportation arrangements. Have fun, drink a beer for me. And stay away from the pooper.

That is all.

Oirole - wait… how did they get in a day early? could i have gone early? im leaving tommorow morning.

Jeremy - Volunteers get to go in a day early.  That’s anyone who’s doing a 6-hour volunteer shift sometime over the weekend in exchange for a free weekend pass.  Since Jay’s been doing work for them for like the past 2 months he got to go in on Wednesday I think.  Got first grab at camping spot. Otherwise its gates open Friday for everyone else.

Josh - volunteers get in on thurs. i too am leaving in the morning

‘update!! i am back for a shower and resupply! so far so good! chris has been shooting video of the herron and oriole has been taking pictures! i will be doing photo’s today as well! we will be writting our experiences down very soon! already oiriole rocks by bringing 300 pounds of wood!

Chris - Back at 11:05pm on Sunday night (could’ve been two hours earlier, but I’ll get to that later). This Heron was definitely…different than last year’s. It was still a Heron, that’s for sure, but it didn’t have the same vibe as it did last time. I remember it being more fun. It’s probably a lot my fault for building it up so much, but I needed to as it was my light at the end of the tunnel. Me and Oi were the only ones to make beer armor, which I was pretty disappointed about. Hell, I made mine in two days before the Heron! Still, people LOVED us as we walked around and had a couple of battles. Everybody shouted for The Black & Tan Knight to win because apparently more people like Guinness. Strangely though, alot more people were drinking Labatt’s Blue and were thus commended by the Blue Knight. Now at first I was walking around with a cup in hand, drinking beer. Then I switched to rum and coke. But, silly me, I didn’t need to do that at all!! All i had to do was tell people I was collecting the King’s taxes and I got beer from people hand over fist! Next year, I go with sword and shield in hand and nothing else. We were definitely loved and people lined up five deep to take our pictures. The Black & Tan Knight beat the Blue Knight in duels, 4-3, but I plan to bulk up, win more tournaments, and take him out next year. Oi, I can’t believe you left your armor! I really wanted to take it and save it for you for next year, but Jay said you were just going to make more. So you know, it was taken as a groundscore by a fourteen year old girl that Jay and Jason were both trying to hit it with.

Jay bought some chocolates in bulk which he was then going to resell but ended up ingesting the profits himself. The weekend kind of turned into a “watch Jay and Jason trip, watch Jay sleep it off and Jason be rude to passersby; watch Jay and Jason trip, watch Jay sleep it off and Jason be rude to passersby.” There wasn’t much else to it. Then, of course, there was Stephanie. She was the pretty cute little redhead that everyone was drooling over.  She gave us the Quote of the Heron: “I’ll answer to any name you call out in the middle of the night.” Gotta love it! She SAID she was 18 and was so drunk that most of her sentences were obvious/annoying statements (“I love beer”) or nonsense (“I think this band was the one that played the song last year that my sister Rachel liked but my mom said she couldn’t and kicked her out of the house.”) It was one of those situations where you see her and you say, ”SHHHHHIT!” Then she starts talking and you say, ”Shit?” Then she keeps talking more and you say, ”Aww, shit.” Then you get to the point where when you see her coming you say, ”Oh shit!” and hide. She was roaring drunk on Friday night and pretty much unable to walk straight without falling down. Me and a guy named Tim (who turned out to be much more annoying than I thought he’d be) tried to help her out by taking her for a walk. Then my ‘responsible adult’ feelings kicked in and I got her water and a slice of pizza to try to drown/soak up alcohol so she wouldn’t end up dead/stomach pumped/raped and left for dead by a dirty hippie. I spent way too much time doing this and finally got to the point where I just said, ”Fuck it…let her die.” I think I saw her two more times during the weekend and didn’t even spare her a glance. I guess pleasing the eyes doesn’t make up for the nightmare she visits upon the ears and mind.

I was also emotionally destroyed in a small way because my 13 year crush on one Miss KJ from Ashville ended this weekend. I saw her at the Heron (as I knew I would) and she was at least 7 months pregnant. Whoa, what’s that on the floor? Oh, it’s my heart, dashed to bits. While I didn’t expect anything to happen between the two of us, it was one of those “maybe someday” things that keep you going in rough times. It had to happen eventually…and so it has.

Oi is a GOD for bringing all that wood! He had the whole friggin’ ass end of his truck loaded with it, and it burned nicely the whole time! We even had two logs left over at the end of the Heron! Jay and I headed back into town on Sunday afternoon to take a poop without needing shots (the portapotties were unholy) and also get a shower. Honestly, we were both considering just staying in town and going back the next morning, but we wanted to see Oi before he left. Then we get there….AND HE’S GONE!!! So, Oi, know that we came back specifically to see you before you left but you were too quick for us. I can’t wait to see those pics of yours! I was kind of lax on the shutter this year, but I got some video at the beginning and end of the Heron. During the middle, my battery was dead and I couldn’t find the replacement until Sunday afternoon. I almost left Jay and Jason at the Heron tonight. I wanted to get everything packed up and ready to go before dark so we wouldn’t be hauling our shit in darkness. We were just going to get valuable items and personal stuff in case somebody decided to bust into the tents while we were at home in our beds (something we decided would be better than sleeping on the ground and then working post-fest). So I got to work hauling stuff down to the van and got all my crap done before Donna had played their last set. The two jokers were still smoking and drinking! Finally, I got them moving a little bit…a very little bit…and I sat and watched Donna for a half-hour while they were packing. Then they went back up for the last two coolers and apparently met some girl on the way up to the tents. I waited for 15 minutes for them to come and they never did. So I strolled back towards camp and they’re in the tent getting ready to trade chocolates for sex with this girl. I told them I’d see them in the morning and took off. Since I’m really not an asshole, I waited five more minutes and they came running down, coolers in hand. I don’t know what it is, but I just can’t put up with that high school shit any more. I don’t like being taken advantage of in any situation and when friends do it, it’s really disrespectful. Regardless, I finally shocked them into doing what they were supposed to do and we got finished at about 11:00 when we could’ve been done around 9:00. Now we have to head back up to the Heron at around 8:00am to break down the canopies and tents, load them in the van, and then start doing volunteer work. Hopefully that won’t take too long and I can catch up on some of that sleep I’m supposed to get to fight jetlag.

As for scoring, I’ll give last year’s Heron a 9.5 and this year’s a 6.0. At the moment, I’m thinking I may not go to next year’s Heron, or at least go by myself. Maybe it’s the jetlag and sleeping on the ground talking. but that’s my feeling right now. Off to bed, so that I may enter data in a mighty fashion on the morrow!!

Josh - I dunno…i had fun only after i realised i couldn’t wait for Jay and Jay to have any fun as well…to me it felt like the apartment but in the woods….there was underage girls and drinks…so i went and made my own fun. also i had fun being a beer knight for a couple of hours with chris. Oi…you rock man. the wood and just your presence in the middle of the choas rocked. Chris…we already talked on the events that were going on and i am gonna go next year but maybe its time to try something new for next year. mahoney drove me nuts and maybe its him not going that could change everything. i dunno…i am gonna post pics tommorow and reply with stories. lol….ahh….i just thought about that stephanie girl lmao….she was something else…but more over jail bait. she made the slip on her age…17 at best.

Jeremy - :dunno: I’m really at a loss for words at this point. I felt like shit that I couldn’t go with you guys.  Even more so since like Chris said its been hyped up for, shit, 12 months.  Watched all the plans happen here, listened to Jay talk it up, saw his plans for Corona armor, heard about the glow order, etc etc etc.  All that build up, all that anticipation…then you cum in your pants. If you add Jerry almost kicking someone’s ass to Chris’ story it really does sound like one of our high school stories.  Which is fucking sad since we’re almost 30.

I have a proposal.  We do go next year, I’ll put in the vacation request right fucking now if I have to, but we adopt a new policy.  No business.  Fuck selling shit, or schemes, or trying bartering, or any of that horseshit.  We all deal with work every other day of the year, why at the Heron?  The only people that should be tempted to make money at the Heron are dirty fuck hippies…and illegal immigrants.  And oh how I hate the illegals.  Personally, I’d go as far as to say fuck the inner circle, yeah I said it.  Its 3 days….3 days out of the year, a vacation.  What other time of year does anyone want to be in Sherman??  What does it matter if you’re gold in the eyes of Julie?  You still either do your time or pay, just like everyone else (or you do an assload of time like Jay did, which in retrospect doesn’t sound as smart as it did before). These clownshoes-fucks in the woods are like half our age for crying out loud.  We’re supposed to take their beer, nay, DEMAND they SURRENDER their beer, and be on our way to have our own fun.  I think if I would have went this year I woulda snapped.  Between the court trial and that cunt’s continued bullshit, work schedules, money, identity theft, the freaking flood, and everything, if I would have made it out there and this shit went down I probably woulda pulled a Josh…throw my beer down and just go running off into darkness. Vikings…..or pirates.  That’s what we need next year.  Because neither one of those would have put up with this monkeyhump fuckjob that happened with all our beautiful plans.

BTW, Happy Birthday Josh.   :thumb:

Josh - sigh….yes there were times that i felt it was very high schoolish but i had to adapt to that and escape the camp. i was disappointed in a lot of things but i never let it get me down. beer armor…here is my take on the whole thing…pre-armor…the hype…i was into it. the problem…i have a job and child on the way. the job requires 60+ hours a week at a 3rd shift time table. just didn’t have the energy after that and also i am preparing for a child so my mind was not completely on it. post armor…oh i am making it for next year. maybe a couple of suits because i had a blast walking around oi’s armor! as for next year…i am going on no theme at all. just bringing fun stuff up and doing it up. finding my own fun and hopefully it will be with you guys (as I am sure it will be). as for the J&J connection…it wasn’t like this until mahonbone came into town…thats why i have tried not hanging out there. i see nothing but trouble in there future but to each there own…they are adults.

Jeremy - From what you guys are saying I’m not too sure about that last part.

Oirole - First off…  i feel like such a shit for not saying farewell to my fellow beer knight.  Static, you are so awsome dood.  one of a kind. so here is the drama that made me leave so fast.  my freind marie showed up with HER freind ryan.  me and ryan are very armslength in this romantic love triange..  you see, marie lives with her BF curt.  but she uses and screws ryan and then dumps it all on me wich usally ends up with me and marie in bed and then i dont see her for a month or so.  its complicated.  LOL its funny because its true…..anyway enough of the dark side there..  I HAD A GREAT TIME AT THE GREAT BLUE HERON.  static hit the nail on the head as far as stephanie.  she has the sparkally carisma.  but dont try to go into a discussion about quantum physics with her.  not gona happen. i have way over 300 pics hot women, J&J, Chris, Josh, more hot women,  jersey girls, teenage girls, a stripper, a ninja, and tons of drunk guys, a totem pole and many many more.  heres one of stephanie

((lost image))

this pic displays how we all felt at this hour………………………………its safe to say she had my heart at the heron until i met the chick from essex london and then got involved in maries drama. this heron was great except for the teens in our camp.  i tried to run them off, but they kept coming back.  i drank more then i have drank ever before.  and being a beer night was like being a celebrity.  im still bummed tat i didt bring my helmet.  good thing that i brought extra cardboard though.  i was able to construct a replacement, wich on sunday i saw someone sneek away with…..  se la ve…………………jason ate the jersey girls 30 dollars.  that was a 10 and a 20………………   the monkeys became a landmark.  i had a great time. next year i want to be a beer pirate……………………

EASY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

‘come to think of it this quote dosnt make much sense out of context.  heres the story…………me J&J, chris, josh and a few others were sitting around with flash cards, and everytime a hot chick came down the path we would rate her.  most times they got 10s acrooss the boards.  this one time we rated a chick and her BF came running up behind her and screamed Easy! back at us.  and after that the term was history……..everytime someone started to get into some juicy gossip, or a stimulating story of how some chick wanted to suck him off, we started yelling……………EASY !!!

Hey Chris, how many people showed up for the heron?

Chris - ’They didn’t have the final numbers while I was there, but Andrea estimated it at around 6,000 (down from last year for some reason)

Josh - Oi…I your in graphics design correct? I have a project for you if your up to it…Chris…this weekend would you like to edit the film work that was done over at my place? Let me know and also i need your number.

Oirole - sounds intresting josh, let me know

Chris - I dropped my film off at the Wal-Mart 2-day service thing yesterday. I could’ve done the 1 hour service, but I’m 99% sure that at least one of the cameras has…offensive material. I felt better about sending them to a faceless company in Oshkosh than being looked at by one of the middle aged women behind the counter as though I (or one of my friends) was a sexual predator…regardless of how true that might be. So, I’ll be getting those back on Friday or Saturday and I’ll upload the pics then. Probably not the nekky ones, but the rest. Oi, how can I get all your photos? Zip file or what’s the best idea? I’m ITCHING to see more pics!

Drew - Bollocks, share with those who are 3000 miles away! If you lot need space, I have ohhhh, about 80gb of webspace (just upgraded server)… Just shout.

Josh - ((Josh posted links to about a dozen pictures on photobucket, none of which are no longer available))

Jeremy - I’m upset that you didn’t kick Spongebob Virginpants in the balls and run. That would have been a better pic. Sorry to say Chris, but your sword looks very puny compared to the freaking Final Fantasy uber-cleaver Oi made. You need to upgrade that next year. Hrmm, knights, pirates, vikings, monkeys…so hard to choose. Teenie bopper repelant…maybe next year play polka music at the campsite all day. Or a cop. I hear both of them tend to keep teens away. Or maybe a sign like this at a separate sub-camp next year…

((lost image))

Josh - that rocks! jeremy what do you do at work? and if its nothing can i get a job there?

Jeremy - :rofl: awesome. What do I do? Well normally I monitor a computer network for a financial company (branches, ATMs, core network, office, etc.). Which means when its dead its dead, but if storms go through or we have to change/update stuff, or if shit breaks I’m busy changing things, coordinating things, etc. Oh, and I’ve been working solo lately (5 in a row alone) so I’m been pretty busy. Not too busy to check the board though. :banana:

Oirole - Okay, im in the process of uploading 400 pics to Photobucket.  you guys can go there and look at them at this link. The password is easy , when you get to the page, http://s57.photobucket.com/albums/g222/oirole/HERON%2006/

Drew - Dood, two things…1) Did you fancy the chic in the green shorts, there are an awful lot of pics of her 2) Did your camera have vaseline on the lens? Mucho blurry! Tis a lot of pics though… Should’a said screw it to the bills and flew home

Jeremy - *reviews 22 pages of pics* Holy shit, that green canopy survived another Heron?! Thats I think 5 or 6 Heron’s that thing has been to. Doesn’t that make it a Heron Holy Relic now? Oi, two things, wtf is pic 7 (blurry dirt?), and the other is how come you have no pics of yourself in your armor?

Chris - Great friggin’ pics! The ones that didn’t get blurred, that is. I think our coolness was radiating too many cool waves that the camera couldn’t handle it all. :thumb: What’s with all the pics of that nasty, green shorts, Jersey girl!?!?! There’s more cottage cheese than my grocer’s dairy case! Jer, I think all the pics of Oi in armor are on my cameras/porn capturers. We shall see in a day or two. Note to self: Get more poses. Why aren’t there more occasions to wear beer armor?

Oirole - Well, static asked me for ALL the pics.  So i put up ALL the pics. you guys must realize that i was under the influence of alcohol for 99% of the heron. therefore if i took a pic and it didnt come out the way i wanted it to. Hell, i can take 700 pics on this cam, ill just take another till i get it right. othertimes i was just so comfortable in my seat, i shot from that one spot. alot of times the subject i was shooting was in the background. to blow up and crop later. i cant help it if the 15 yr olds swarm to the J&J ferimones. its the way the heron was this year. they even attracted jersey girls with dickholes in there terryclothe shorts. yikes……but, you wanted ALL the photos. and thats what you got. Cheers :thumb:

Chris - Okay..so, let’s do a Heron recap and collect every catch phrase, special moment, and running gag. I’ll start:

EASY!!!!!!!!!

Nasty green terrycloth “shorts” that the Jersey girl had been wearing for 5 weeks

Jason eating money ($30…a $20 and a $10)

Holding up numbers to rate chicks as they walked down the path

The balloon dragon suspended in the middle of the path…but don’t be scared, it’s not a real dragon

“That’s what she said…” It’s comin’ back!

J and J double-teaming the single most disgusting girl I’ve ever seen. Momentous.

Oi walking in on J and J double-teaming said troll

I’m out for now…gentlemen?

Josh - Wait….easy….who the fuck did they double team!?

Jeremy - From the angle of that pic it looks like the monkey got some too. :O Wow…after seeing…that, I’ve lost alot of respect for the “mojo” that is Jay. But I can’t say too much, I mean I’ve married worse.  :dunno:

Josh - no fucking way! :puke:

Chris - No lie. Lots of bad stuff happened…just try to lose it in the good. And then we saw that girl walk by holding hands with at LEAST 3 other guys over the course of the Heron. *shiver* Yeah, it seems to me that Jay’s “mojo” only works with 16 year old girls and goth/emo “I want to die so what’s it matter anyway” kind of chicks. I mean, that was cool when we were 18 or so, but apparently his power hasn’t progressed with his age. Oi! You didn’t get the girl’s fat roll that was sticking out the back of her shirt all weekend! You must’ve found the one time she actually yanked her shirt down over it.

Oirole - easy………..i didnt want to break the camera. god knows im already mentaly scared for life from you (Chris) convincing me to go back and poke my head into J’s tent.  :O i saw the meat curtains and came back to the living room and said “its time to drink !” the rest of the night i tried to erase the images. but it was to late. they are burned in. :puke: i only got 2 pics.  this was taken during to courtship. notice the light stick, that she was sucking all night.

Jeremy - the courtship….. :chatter: This just creeps me out more and more as you guys talk about it. I feel like I want to burn my clothes and cry in the corner like the crying game. Last year there was the poo, this year it was shamu.

Josh - yeah i am still awaiting a confirmation on an issue with this and if its what i think it is then i will be destroying J&J very soon.

Chris - I will neither confirm nor deny that the &quot;bidness&quot; happened in one of your tents. Ask Oi…he SAW it for God’s Sake!

Jeremy - Sounds like Oi is already in alcohol therapy for it too. He’s never gonna be able to go by the butcher section of a grocery store ever again. All those rolls, and fat, and meat….*shudder*

Josh - i don’t care what happened as long as it did not happen on my sleeping bag and air mattress!

Jeremy - You might want to boil them just in case. Or at least dust them with tuff actin’ Tinactin, ya know, for roaming fungi.

Oirole - ’LOL……… please, no more drama………… im involved in drama up to my neck with maries situation with ryan

Josh - ok fuck that…i know now….i am done with them….i do alot of stupid shit but i don’t fuck on the bed your friend and his girlfriend are gonna sleep on later that night….i gotta get my shit out of his apartment

Jeremy - Why do I hear wardrums now?

Josh - you won’t…i am gathering my herron stuff from over there and not speaking to him for some time

Chris - ’Better late than never, here are some of my choicest pics. I have lots more, but I got a limit on Coppermine (apparently) so i can’t put them all up. Enjoy! Edit – I’ve determined that the thigh guards really add something to the armor…I’ll have to work on those.

((lost image))

Oirole - Nice selection Static! i finally get to see what i look like in armor. i know i told you this at heron, but your use of elastic and velcro was pure genious. although you needed a hand suiting up, i think it worked out great. and your completely correct about the thigh guards. they really make the suit! in the 5th picture down, there is some guy with red hair shooting a couple of fingers. any idea who he is, where that was taken? that guy looks so evil! &gt;:D the first picture with that chick in the butterfly outfit……… MMMM…… she was fine. i was going for my camera when you first met her, but then i shuddered when i realized i didnt have it, because my batteries were dead. talk about a kodak moment! and then im not quite sure, but i think i snapped the one of the girl kissing your monkey with your camera…. im not a 100% sure about that, but that is a good shot. then the 7th one down. were those 2 girls twins, or just wearing the same tiedie? im happy someone got pics of them. they get a 10! you got to put up more pics. goto photobucket, they give you at least a gig for FREEEEEEEEEEEEE. i put up over 400 and im only using about a 16th of the available Freeeee space. did i mention that its freeeeeeeeeeee! :thumb:

Jeremy - Chris, your coppermine is only using 9.7mb out of 15mb.  But anyway, I bumped your quota up from 15 meg to 100 meg, you should have room enuff now. If not, we can further loosen the belt later. What’s with the balloon wall stuff? 10th pic down has like a gray balloon column…in the woods?

Oirole - It.s a baloon flag.  made a nice backdrop.

Chris - Cool…thanks Jer…I’ll get on it, but right now I’m pretty toasty. Maybe I’ll just give them to you and let you do it during one of your long nights of work boredom.

Josh - pictures rock man!! :thumb: i start my 10 days off tommorow for the baby….so….chris when do you want to edit the herron documentary?

Drew - as it should be since we rule the world! [me=sabian]glances behind him to make sure the wife didn’t read that….[/me]

Chris - Make who now? BTW, Josh, your cell phone is “temporarily disconnected” in case you didn’t know.

Josh - yeah i know….getting a new one soon

Jeremy - Board stats show male to female member ratio is 3.3 to 1. Its not a full fledged sausage party, but its close.

Chris - Soooooooo,  getting back on topic, I just gotta tell you guys that I’ve had many a story filter back to me via various sources of people who loved the Beer Knights at the Heron. A family friend works at Chautauqua Institution and had a friend he works with talking about us. My mom’s friend was at the Heron and saw us and brought us up to her in conversation. And a girl that works at Creative Imports in the mall started talking about us when I asked if she knew of any festivals coming up. So we got another festival this weekend. (Hexfest? HEX YES!!!) I don’t think my stickers are going to get here in time, sadly, so maybe we’ll hand out business cards or just little slips of paper with the site address. Word of mouth won’t get us known…especially when the ears the mouth is wording are drunk, high, or trippin’. Next step…T-SHIRTS!

Josh - i’m down! let me know how much!

Chris - Those stickers worked like magic! I had 4 new guestbook entries before I even put anything up from Hexfest! Unfortunately my really cool vinyl ones didn’t come back from the printer in time, so I just had some labels made up at Office Max for $20 or so. I got 280 of them and we only have one or two sheets left, so a lot of them got handed out. I think I’ll make the cheap ones like that for general distribution and hand out the vinyl ones for special people we meet. As for t-shirts, I think my mom has a friend that does t-shirt design. I’ll talk to her and see what the prices look like. I’m thinking that this Aaronzona Family Reunion will be the last big festival of the year, so maybe we’ll make some up for there, but not too many. Just enough to cover the cost of admission maybe.

Josh - I have decided on May 1st I am taking a vow of celebancy for 180 days. Comments.

Chris - cel·i·ba·cy n. 1. Abstinence from sexual intercourse, especially by reason of religious vows. 2. The condition of being unmarried. According to this, I’ve been celibate for my entire life! Beat that! ….wait, should I be bragging about that?

Josh - I am just doing this one…Abstinence from sexual intercourse….for 180 days!

Jeremy - Why? Why the celebacy, and why 6 months? Also, when does the pool start as to when you’re gonna crack? If you reach 2 months I feel it would be a public service to post signs around J-town warning females that you may pounce on any hole within 10 yards. If you reach 4 months the same posting may need to be forwarded to the ASPCA.

Josh - actually i am going to review this plan of action this weekend….i will crack lol…so maybe a shorter time frame is all i need also i heard the VA will pay for me to get snipped so i am going to check into that.

Josh - (May 1st) let the games begin!!

offspringrulz21 - haha that’s a good idea! Jeremy should create a little section for Josh to update. haha

Josh - actually thats funny you ladies mentioned that…i pm&#039;ed jeremy the other day with that same idea.

Jeremy - it will be done.

Josh - on a side note jay has decided to join me in this jeremy! for one month though

Jeremy -I hope you’re not getting trying to get me to join in on this madness, cuz no way José. Isn’t Jay already “on the wagon” so to speak anyway?

Jeremy - If its swiss, after day 30 or so Josh may be inclined to hump the cheese.&nbsp; All those holes and all…

Josh - mm holes….wait what?!

Josh - no tis working…. :rofl:

Chris - A) SIX FRIGGIN’ MONTHS?!?!?!?

B) Cheese? Rotting fruit? WTF? I’m so confused.

C) I think I recall Jay making a similar vow last year while I was home. It was either swearing off sex or swearing off psycho, underaged whores…I forget which. Is there even a difference? Regardless, it didn’t last long either way.

D) Please, God, no pictures. The only relevant photography I can think of would be the progressive atrophy of your garbage. Or perhaps your withheld juices would give the “plump while you cook abstain” look, a la ballpark franks.

Josh - (May 4th) vow is off for the moment…yup cracked like you all beleived…..story to come lol

Jeremy - WTF man, that lasted what….a day???

Chris - BWAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! :rofl: BWAH HAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH!! MA HA! MA HA! MA HA! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! :rofl:

May 1st: 180 days of celibacy! This is my vow and I swear by it!

May 4th: Yup…I cracked.

3 days. Beautiful! 1/60th of the vow fulfilled. Well, let’s see. How can we put a positive spin on this. Um…you were 1.6% successful. Um…that’s all I got.

Josh - this is how the crack went down….i went in the same direction that jay went at the herron last year…different girl though…twice might i add…i am a dirty dirty boy

Jeremy - Way to cowboy-up the will power there man!!! Its like you planned a wedding cake and delivered a mudpie. Literally.

Josh - yeah like you guys realy cared lol…you were all expecting me to fail lol

Chris - Yeah, but not this soon! I was banking on two weeks or so, but 3 days…

Josh - i need more prep-time and more rules established…i will begin this quest in the near future

Chris - *holds his breath*

Josh, my friend, I am here to help you. I understand why you want to make this vow and how important it is to you to really do it! So, being the excellent friend that I am, I will ensure that this vow of celibacy happens. Starting on July 2nd, you will NOT have sex for 90 days…or, at least 4 which is over three times as long as your last stint of not having sex.

“How?” you might ask? Easily…I am going to cockblock your ass at every turn. Whenever I see you talking to a girl, I’ll be sure to turn the conversation to your most recent romantic endeavors, inadequate penis size, likely venereal diseases, or (if necessary) the fact that one of your items of clothing is on fire. (The last one will require a little extra work on my part, but I’m willing to go the extra mile for you.)

Yes, Josh, you are lucky to have a friend like me. Jay, Jer, and Oi, please join me in helping this mountain of man we call Josh. He needs and wants our help to be abstinant, and it is our duty to help him. Not just as friends, but as human beings. The next time you see him turning on the charm or preparing to elbow drop a girl, step in and do what’s right…humiliate him and draw attention to his lesser points. No matter how much he fights, remember that this was his choice and something that he truly desires, regardless of what he might say or do. He’ll thank you for your interference in the end.

Jeremy - Don’t forget, his birthday is during Heron weekend.&nbsp; If all else fails just revert to birthday beats.

Josh - Mr. Chris….upon hearing this I have decided that…i don’t need your help lol…i am good at fucking up my own game…as far as beats….BRING IT! I will drink a 12 pack of TILTS and show you a whole new Josh….call Jay and ask lol

Jeremy - …because the old Josh was a debutant socialite with a monacle and top hat.

Josh - lol…true….

Jeremy - I don’t have the greatest luck. Yes, good things still happen to me, but when a bad thing happens (and they tend to often) its usually crazy shit that happens to very few other people. Take for example my identity theft situation…$6500, that isn’t something you hear about every day.

So it struck me to start chronicling all this. I mean it really struck me, like my latest bad luck incident.

This past weekend I had a little extra time set aside to finally put away our Christmas decorations. This meant I had to clean out and reorganize the storage unit in our basement. No biggie. Once I got a stack of boxes along the back wall I stuck the xmas tree stand on top. This stand is one of those big, one-piece molded plastic things, like 2-3 feet across, with a bucket formed in the middle for the tree. I bought it on clearance at the end of the season for like $5, so the bolts and hardware and everything are still inside a bag zip-tied in the inside. WELL, I was starting to put the 2nd row of stuff in and I guess I bumped the back row…jostling the tree stand from it lofty perch.

Apparently the bucket portion of the stand is big enuff to fit over my head…cuz it did. In the middle of the bucket is a plus-shaped spike that you’re supposed to jam your tree onto….yeah. With the screws and other hardware inside adding weight, and dropping from 7 feet up, and me crouched down putting a box down, it fell far and hit hard. It hit really fucking hard. Blood was immediate. I went up to my bathroom and the blood was already streamed down from the top of my head to my temple.

After a couple rinses I started blotting with toilet paper to gauge how bad I was bleeding. The wound was plus-shaped with a circle in the middle. If you’ve seen Constantine, ya know the convenience store scene where John uses the ice cube and blots the symbol Hennessy carved into his own hand? That exactly what it looked like, but smaller, a cross with a circle in the middle, done in blood on tissue. It bled for four freaking hours.

This is on top of last year when I scalped myself shaving my head, took a half inch chuck of skin off that I had to pull out of my razor. And also last year my SUV hatch door closed on my head, that one bled for about an hour. I may have to get a helmet and just wear it all the time.

SO, this is where I’m gonna log all the goddam crap that happens to me. Why? I dunno. I’m hoping to get my girlfriend in here to post anything that I forget, or may be too embarassed to post myself.

offspringrulz21 –  eugh…blood. all this talk about your poor head, is making me faint. I agree, I think it’s time you invested in a helmet. Try one of those the batters use in baseball, I think that will do it!

Say….you don’t happen to gamble? I surely hope you don’t, because you might end up losing. Then again….you might just win. lol

Jeremy -  I’ve played the slots a few times. That’s it. I’m no dummy.

dave -  at this stage i don’t know what to say. how is the medical insurance program at nerdhatch?

Josh -  as u can see not very good

Jeremy - Well current coverage entitles you to a band-aid and an aspirin, but there’s a $10 copay for each.

Captainofindustry - My bad luck is exclusively with women. I, remember a long time ago. When a girl sprinkled some a sugar packet on me and I tried retaliating by hitting her with some of the sugar like stuff on my candy. Unfortunately it was some of those sour straws and the sugar like stuff landed right in her eye. God… that was awkward for a few minutes. Luckily I just kind of looked over and was like wow an arcade machine. I’m going to Spin Masters my problems away.

Josh - i need some anti-gremlin spray…..almost every car i have had there has been some gremlin in it messing shit up

Jeremy - Josh is the only person I know who’s car was parked, caught on fire/kinda exploded, had half the block watch it burn, and didn’t know it happened until a fireman (not one of the neighbors) knocked on his door.

Fancy electronic medical badge? You kidding me? I’m allergic to penicillin and I don’t even wear a plain metal medic alert badge that says so even thought I should. My laziness supercedes my need for medical preventative measures.

Josh - Shit my blazer died like that too…just not as grossum….I went into Shawbucks to work a couple of hours and when i came out the fucker wouldn’t start….it didn’t start until almost a year/ 500 dollars later.

When i first moved back home my dad had an old pick up truck for me to drive. all it needed was new valve gaskets and would run great….so i replaced them….never ran the same after that….damn gremlins made sure that oil would spray all over the engine compartment everytime i stepped on the gas :rage:

Also I have more bad luck…forgot to tell this when it happened lol I went tubing at Peak N Peak (ski resort) a month back. Things were going good and the beer was flowing. About 10 of us went down in a “one right after another” race. (Train wreck). So I was second to last down and stode up. My buddy got a delyed start and was coming down as fast as he could….I should have taken the queues from everyones face as they seen him comign to move but i didn’t. He drilled me in the side of the knee. Stretching my ligaments and pain threshhold to its limits. Mind you he weighs in at about 215 and was traveling pretty damn fast. Upon impact I at instint ground and was in instant pain. So a month later and I am still wearing a knee brace..

Jeremy - And no video camera to win you $10,000.

I really should have gone to the ER for stitches on this one. I was doing dishes, that’s all, just dishes. Well I guess the big ceramic dish I made fish in cracked, cuz as I was washing it it decided to split in half. I got sliced to the bone on the middle finger of my left hand as half of the heavy dish fell onto it. Its right on the last bendy-knuckle near my nail. Blood all over the sink. Nearing 24 hours later and its still leaking blood and puss. I made a splint to keep myself from bending it and splitting it open again.

I’m strangely gettings used to typing with my middle finger extended. Kinda weird.

Josh - hey i ain’t doing nothing this weekend…i will come up with some fishing line and a sewing needle and strich you up buddy

offspringrulz21 - ouchers…you’re right, you should have gone and gotten stitches….go now!

Jeremy - Its closed nicely. I can kinda bend it now, but I’ll probably have a scar.

offspringrulz21 - phew. I would recomend that Band Aid brand plastic bandage thingy. It goes on like…rubber cement? lol it worked well when I gashed the side of my hand at work, cleaning out the vents of the cases. you can never leave that place without atleast a cut or a burn. ha.

Josh - jeremy always has bad luck like this….like the time when he got hit in a balls with a snow ball….problem is the snowball was tossed up in the air behind a fence and the person had no idea were jeremy was…it just happened to hit him right on target.

offspringrulz21 - I’m sorry but…..HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! A random snowball coming up and hitting him in the balls? oh dear lord.

Jeremy - No no no, not over a fence. I was behind a tree and had light in my eyes so I couldn’t see anything coming at me. Jay was standing under the light, threw the snowball, which curved AROUND THE PINE TREE, and hit me squa’ unblocked in the crotch. I saw nothing coming, just cold solid pain.

Josh - oh thats right…i was behind the fence giving tara the flying leg drop and i heard the yell of sheer agony

Jeremy - Update on the finger, well,  more like something that happened a week ago. While we were in Hershey I was trying to win something for the lil lady. Went to that carnival game where you throw baseballs at those fuzzy webble-wobble looking things, knock 3 over and you win. Ok, 3 balls for a buck, lets go. First throw, a-ok, knock a little fucker down. Second throw…not so good. My healing middle finger gives out, I guess asking it to grip a fastball twice was asking too much. Throw goes wild, way wild, I hit the sign above the freaking attraction, like, we’re talking 12 feet up. It felt like I tore muscle or tendon in my finger or something. I managed the third throw and hit one of the crossbars between the rows of targets.

Drew – (quotes the snowball story) That was sooooooooooooooooooooooooo classic! Almost as good as the hotdog to the eye! God, how are we still alive? Processed meat can be deadly!

Josh - oh the hotdog…i almost forgot!

Drew - How could you? Thanks to the hotdog fight, not only did you almost get eaten by a bear, but you then had to eat cream of mushroom soup out of the tin that I was trying to expload in the fire! “I’m going camping for 7 days in the woods… All I need is a can of spaghettios and my woodsman knowledge”… Maybe it would have worked if you didn’t decide to go on some sort of personal sojourn with Wes after our first hunt.

Josh - shit Wes wasn’t on my journy lol….it was all me! another classic moment from all that was jerry getting blown up at the fire lol….when jason and jeremy put way to much lighter fluid in it lol

Drew - erm, I think you’ll find that it was Jason and me… Jeremy was being good saying not to do it, but sat quiet until the Big Bang© As to the Wes/Josh exodus,I know he didn’t go with you, but you did your juggernut thing knocking down trees and Wes did the typical, “I know what I’m doing” thing and went another way… While the rest of us were like, “Jason knows what he’s doing, we’ll follow him”…Which of course resulted in the 3 hour nap we all had whilst you were getting shot at by Ma and Pa Kettle for stealing horses!

Josh - yeah … good times lol

Jeremy -  ’There were 2 woodsy trips. The first one is like Drew said, we all went one way with Jason, and somehow Josh came back like 3 hours after us, without any of his gear because he ditched it down the road. The second one was Wes and I getting lost. After like an hour of circling with Wes I split off from him and got back to camp I think like 10 minutes after I left him. I can’t remember how long it was before he made it back. And with Jerry it was a can of white gas that we found in the cabin, not lighter fluid. Much more combustion.

Chris – Since I was 20, my life has been spent drifting. I joined the Navy for 6 years, went to University for 3 years, came to Korea for one year. So for 10 years, I’ve managed to bounce around without setting down roots or having a real, open-ended career. Now I’ve got 9 weeks left in Korea and I’m trying to figure out what to do with myself. Here’s my current plan:
1. Come home for the Heron. Party, destress, be stupid and immature, try not to put it in anybody’s pooper, and enjoy a great friggin’ time.
2. Recover.
3. I’ve been putting my resume up on different websites and looking for jobs down around Raleigh, NC. I’ve never been there, but I’ve already fallen in love with it. It’s close to mountains for hiking, the ocean is 2 hours away, it’s got a few big cities close to each other (Raleigh, Durham, Cary) but a small town feel (or so I hear), they have sports teams, nightlife, shit to do, great weather, and a very good economy. My plan is to try to talk to some employers down there and then head down for a month or so to do interviews.
Here’s my questions:
Does anybody know anything about Raleigh area? Anybody know the CEO of a company that would hire me? What do you think would be the ideal job?

Jeremy – That should be everyone’s permanent plan.
Gerald lives in Raleigh, we’ll have to hook you up with his number when you’re back in the area. Actually he was just up here two days ago (his grandma was sick). I’m sure he’s got all the skinny that you need.

Chris – Yeah, he’ll definitely have a bunch of info. I should email him. Maybe I’ll crash on his floor for a month or so. How could that go wrong? I’m sure he can restructure his life, wife, kids, and living space to accomodate me,right?
Econolodge, here I come.

Josh – There is nothing wrong with being a backdoor man. Jesus you just gotta clean up afterward and not leave the poo on you for awhile…..like all day.

Jeremy – How do I jiggle the handle on Josh’s statement? Or should I just tag a :color: in front of it?
The Heron 06 should not involve the pooper in any way, shape, or form.

Chris – Hell, I try to not even take a crap during the Heron. Those porta-potties are teh nas-t. It must be one of God’s little jokes that you go camping for three days, drinking ass-loads of beer (poor choice of words, I know), down a ton of hot dogs and hamburgers and beans…and then makes the only bathroom a little plastic stall with a hole full of shit and piss. Oh, and don’t forget the obligatory peed-on toilet paper. Gotta love that!

Jeremy – I’ve entered a Heron porta-john twice. Once was one of the ones right by the edge of the woods…I spent all of 2 seconds in there. *puke* The second was one of the booths just as you walk up, by the edge of the parking area. Cleaner, and I took the longest piss of my life in there. Seriously, Andy was concerned.

Chris – During last year’s Heron when I had the “left testicle/vomit incident” where I had to induce pukage to prevent alcohol poisoning (or worse), I was still sober enough to know not to go into a porta-potty. That’s why I made a humongous pile of regurge by the kiddie tent instead.

Josh – yeah that whole twisted testicle thing made me laugh for hours