Nerdhatch archive: Beer Knights 2007

And the train keeps rolling on, next extraction from the memories of the old site is the last Beer Knight thread (July 2006-February 2007). After this post most everything moved over to the actual Beer Knight website. As always, enjoy and remember to tip your waiters.


Josh – Lets get this going!


Jeremy – I think if anything this year should teach us that all the planning in the world cannot compete with a lack in execution.


Chris – That is the smartest thing anyone has ever said about anything.

That being said, here are my suggestions for next year:

1. Camp Jungle Love (Previously discussed idea) – Pros: Incorporates the monkeys perfectly. Being set in a forest does most of the setting work for us. Cons: Obvious racial implications that would not be welcome at the Heron (much like insulting people as they walk by the camp). Not many costume ideas.

2. Pirates of the Carib-Heron (or Pirates of the Heron-bean) Pros: Really cool pirate costumes. Tons of good jokes. Lots of saying "Arrr!". Memorable. Rum built right in! Cons: Assumptions that we’re on the Pirates movie bandwagon or affiliated with them somehow. "Butt pirates" jokes and other homoerotic implications.

3. City of Herons (Superheroes!) Pros: Excellent potential for costumes. (Even the most slack-ass can throw something together in a couple hours.) Can induct others into the camp by fashioning costumes from items around the Heron. Memorable. Cons: The whole “tights” thing. Novelty may wear off quickly.

I’m still only about 15% convinced that anything will happen next year, but it remains to be seen. For me, I’m just going to focus on Musefest and then…Halloween? There should be a site or something that lists music festivals and shows around here.


Oirole – aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! i got me eye patch ready!!!  :thumb:


Jeremy – My personal opinion, its a real close tie between pirates and monkeys for me.  Superheroes has very gay implications, and I can’t picture any of us being very “heroic” during the heron. I just would like to have some kinda game we could play all weekend long.  For example, from the pictures posted so far I see there were alot of…um…hygenically impaired peoples at the Heron this year.  What if we bought car air fresheners, like those tree ones or leaves or whatever is the cheapest from the dollar store, and put longer strings around them.  And we have a contest all weekend long to see who can get the most around the necks of the unclean.  Bonus points for filth factor, creativity/style, and proper match of air freshener scent to target.


Chris – A pirate walks into a bar and orders rum. While the bartender is pouring it for him, he can’t help but notice that the pirate has the distinct shape of a steering wheel in his pants! The bartender keeps looking at it with his peripherals but can’t figure out what the deal is. So finally, as the pirate is walking out, the bartender asks him, “Hey, I just gotta ask…what’s with the steering wheel” The pirate looks at him and says, “Arrrr! I don’t know, but it’s drivin’ me nuts!”


Josh – i have the entire week after the herron off already lol…cummins is giving us a week off in july and well its right after the herron…the gods love me. also as a side note i am going to buffalo the 10th to take a civil service exam to be a postal carrier


Drew – “Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds…. But I ain’t promising nothing if there’s a kegger on happening on my round”


Jeremy – LMAO


Josh – preach on! :thumb:


Chris – ‘I’m sticking with the beer knight thing. People love it and they’ll come to expect it. I’d rather be recognized and consistent and hear people saying, “I wonder if the beer knights will be here this year?” than “I wonder if those guys with the stuff will be here this year?”


Jeremy – People say that every year, but they’re usually not talking about anything that you wear.


Chris – That’s true. And usually that person is Jay. Jeremy, it sounds like you’re in with the Corona armor next year. Josh, you gonna be able to swing Heinie armor in a year? I’m getting stickers made up that look a little something like this: ((image that no longer exists)) People don’t remember when you just say “Hey, check out The Beer”…but with a STICKER! No way to forget. This thing is taking off boys…jump on before the rocket’s out of reach! By the way, if anybody wants a beer stein to go with their armor, just go to Ebay and type “knight beer stein” in the search box. I was amazed how many came up! And if there were a bunch at a random friggin’ time like when I checked, there’s apparently an almost continuous flow of knightly beer steins that nobody knows about going on all the time! Insane.


Josh – i have construced blue prints and i will have armor….i am building it out of football shoulder pads


Jeremy – Honestly, I dont drink Corona much at all, it was Jay who was all over that set. I’m sticking to Molson Canadian. I’ve got a bunch of twin-labels I’ve been saving, and the hockey theme of the beer will meld with the samurai armor to create my weapon of choice, the goalie stick katana.


Josh – awesome!


Chris – Beautiful! I’m lovin’ it. I want pictures as soon as possible to swell the ranks of the Knights! Why did I think you were going to make Corona armor?


Josh – lol….i think we all wonder what you are thinking at times


Chris – While I have many a crazy thought, I’ve escaped catastrophe thus far and for this I am truly grateful. No major accidents, never caught on fire, I still have my anal flower, no kids or divorces, I’m not Travis Harvey, and I’ve never gone to jail. How I’ve avoided all this, I have no idea, but whatever. So our roster will look something like this:

Chris – The Blue Knight

Patrick – The Guinness Knight

Jeremy – Master Molson? Molson-san? Hockey Knight? Knight of the North?

Josh – Um…Heineken? Is that what you’re using? Sir Heinie? Lord Heineken? The Green Knight? Knight of the Red Star?

Apparently we have some followers outside that are planning on making armor that have contacted me by email but we’ll see what happens.


Josh – Heiniken is correct sir….as for the name we will let the public decide that


Chris – ‘I think Knight of the Red Star would be a great name. <br /><br />Patrick is all trying to change his name now to The Black Knight. MAKE UP YOUR MIND, BUTTMUNCH! First it was Black &amp; Tan Knight, then The Guinness Knight, now The Black Knight. Pick and stick, dude.


Josh – *giggles* You said Pick and Stick! <br /><br />That sounds like a good name though!


Jeremy – Molsonitsu, the ancient beer warrior


Chris – This is going to be a great Order! I’m so excited I have to go poop!


Josh – AHhhhh…..yes Chris Knight of teh Royal Porcelin


Jeremy – In constructing landing gears for the Air Hogs remote control planes me and the boys have, I found something that will help me greatly. At the hobby shop they have various thicknesses of what they call piano wire, but its really just wire. Thinner than a pencil lead all the way up to stuff like rods. I got some 3mm, 40 cents per 3 foot piece, and I’m going to use it to reinforce the shape of my helm and shoulder pieces. The solution to the problem of forming my samurai helm has been found.


Chris – This winter is going to be epic. I foresee much freetime spent constructing newer, better versions of armor. Next festival season will see some much improved knights. Of course, having more than two will be nice, too.


Jeremy – Teehee, started making my gauntlets today. Other parts are on order. So far there are batteries, a soldering iron, liquid nails glue, bottle caps, and a chinchilia involved. Ok maybe not the furry animal, but only because it wasn’t cost-effective.


Josh – Tickets go on sale March 1st!!!


Jeremy – So…..where the hell is Mr. Beer Knight himself??????


Josh – I just spoke to him the other day…he is a live lol…..i am collecting my empty boxes for the armor

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